After work today, I finished dinner and then went up to vote. It's not a big election today, but I feel it an obligation to do so, even if it's not one of the "BIG ONES" held every four years.
What a mistake that was!
I walk in to the same polling place I have walked in, off and on, for 28 years. I walk up the usual table, in the usual room and give the lady my name. I spell it as I always do, "C-*-*-*-*-K, Anthony".
She thumbs through the book for my name and gets to the "C****k" page. There they are as big as life, Anthony, Barbara and Brian, all in order, just like they always are. We all vote regularly in our household. Our signatures are what I noticed most, well Barbara's actually. Her signature was just as I remembered before her brain was damaged from the cancer a few years ago and her handwriting suffered. I was still clear, crisp and neat as the day she first signed the book. Barbara had beautiful hand writing. It was a combination of printing and script and very much different than most of us who really put little effort into penmanship and write like crap.
The lady at the table looks the page over and exchanges the relevant information. "Sign here." She points to the spot in the book where I'm suppose to sign and I sign my name. She looks it over.
"Thank you."
"Excuse me", I say. "Barbara C****k" I point to her name in the book. She passed away three weeks ago."
In unison, the ladies say, "Oh, I'm so sorry."
"Thank you."
"We'll remove her name."
OUCH! It hits me, Barbara is being removed from the voter roles.
"Damn!" I think, it's the beginning of the process to get her out of the "SYSTEM!" I know that's what's done, we all get purged from the "SYSTEM!" eventually, but it's not easy. It's not easy to deal with it when you loose someone so special to you.
Every time, almost everyday, I turn around and have to deal with another case of removing her from the "SYSTEM!" Everyday it's the snail mail and emails that keep coming in her name. I also still have to deal with the cemetery, motor vehicles, the Veterans Administration, the funeral home's insurance company as they fucked up something, but not with her thank God, the banks, credit card companies, investment companies, NY State Retirement system and whatever else that pops up I haven't thought of.
"Sir.......Sir", the lady at the tables calls.
"Yes."
"What date did she...blah....blah....?"
I choose not to hear the rest of what she said, but I knew what she said.
"October 17th", I say.
"Thank you. Again I'm sorry."
I go into the booth, pull the handle to the right, pull a bunch of levers and push the handle back to the left. The curtain opens and I walk out of the booth.
At this point I would always see Barbara standing there waiting, as I always let her vote first. We would always smile at each other and then I'd follow her out the door. This is the way it has been for the 28 years we lived in Sayville, but not this time. This time she wasn't there waiting for me with a smile, this time I walked alone back to my car alone and this time I drove home alone.
When I got home this time, I got the mail, opened the door and went inside to a very quite and very empty house, Brian's at work this evening. I look the mail over, walk over to the trash and throw away the junk mail in her name as I do everyday now. It's just that this day, it was a little harder to do. You see, she is being removed from the "SYSTEM!" and this is just one more thing I have to do to get that done, throw away mail in her name.
Now here I sit at the computer as I do everyday, except this day, the house seems more empty and my life seems more empty. Today I feel more alone.
I miss Barbara very much.
Tuesday, November 8, 2005
Too bad I voted tonight
What happened? It looks like I posted the above post twice yesterday so I deleted the text on this one. I didn't delete it completely so I could save the comments.
Sunday, November 6, 2005
I have another story for you
Did you ever have a sequence of events happen that leads to something that if one of those events hadn’t happened, everything would have turned out completely different?
Sure you have, we all have.
Do you think these things were just a series of coincidences, or do you believe they happened because that something was meant to be? You know fate or destiny? Before you answer, let me tell you a story and then I’ll ask you again.
Last week I got a letter from our church letting me know that they were celebrating All Saints Day and that during the service they remember the church members that have passed away during the last year, Barbara being one of them. I kept changing my mind about going all week, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought it was a good idea. Even though it would make me sad, I thought it would be a good way to honor Barbara and to let her know I’m thinking about her. Brian couldn’t come because he had to be at work a 4:00.
It was a really nice service. The pastor was excellent as usual, and we received Communion. I like that. I even got a little misty-eyed a few times, which I knew would happen. After the service, I hung around for a while to talk to some people I know. They asked me to go to dinner with them, but I didn’t accept the invitation. It would have been nice to chat some more, but I don’t know, I just decided not to go.
The first place I tried for dinner was packed. I decided not to keep trying other places because it was getting late and I was hungry, but to go to a little southern place near me called Sweet Magnolias. It’s never very crowded so I knew I could get a seat. I got a seat at the end of the bar nearer to door. It has really good food so I don’t know why it’s never crowded. I had trout stuffed with breading, shrimp and crayfish; it came with rice and steamed broccoli. Yummy! Did I tell you I like seafood?
Just when I was finished eating, the staff started removing some tables right by me, next to the bar. I knew what that meant, live music. I looked at the chalkboard and saw that some band named ‘Jack’s Waterfall’ was playing. A short time later, I saw the band start carrying in their equipment so I decided to stick around for a little while. I’d never heard of them, but I had a perfect seat, so figured why not stay for a few minutes, have another beer and see if they were any good.
About 45 minutes later, 9:30 or so, the palace is packed, which is always a good sign if you’re looking for good music. They started playing and are excellent! They played all kinds of different stuff; Pop, Blues, Jazz, Folk, Bluegrass, Gospel and even some African music. I really enjoyed it. They did a great rendition of ‘Sweet Georgia Brown’. Now one set turned into two and then two turned into three. I enjoyed it so much I closed the joint. I had a great time. I even bought their CD, it’s called “Calling All Angels”.
I got home and put the CD on. Here is the list of the songs on the CD; Vision, The Hero, The Sweetest Music, Spirit Voices, Believe, Song of Hope, Vuelve, I Am No Prisoner and Calling All Angels. It was very enjoyable, so much so that I put the CD on repeat, turned out the lights and sat back in a large comfortable chair I have and fell asleep after it had played through twice. I woke up when Brian got in and went to bed.
This morning I’m curious to learn something about the group, so look I them up on Google. It seems that Jack Licitra got into music many years ago as a way to help him deal with his father’s death. “The loss of his father at the age of 14 played a major a role in that. Writing songs to help his family through these tough times, Jack began to realize the healing power of music at a young age. It has always been natural for him to express through song and voice some of his deepest emotions in a creative and refined manner. He believes "Music or any of the arts are universal. A shared experience or communication that brings people closer together. It gets them in touch with things they were feeling, but never actually tried to express."
He took the name Jack’s Waterfall “… to reflect a vision of an ever-changing ensemble that would enable me to pursue a variety of creative forms. ...music has transformative qualities – it can facilitate healing, promote unity and certainly express powerful feelings. In my own life it has helped me deal with loss and the passage of time. I believe that the magic of art is its ability to transform the everyday into something greater, something universal, something shared.”
Interesting, huh?
You know, I’m very glad I went there last night because that could be a turning point for me right now. I loved the feelings I got listening to their music. I didn’t talk to anyone really, so to me, it was all about the music. Next week they are playing a charity thing a few towns over at the Brickhouse Brewery. I think I’m going to go. What’s not to like? Great music that makes me feel good and fresh brewed beer.
Okay, let's examine what happened.
1. I went to church even though I hadn't been in 4 or 5 years and I knew it would make me sad. I'm tired of being sad.
2. I got delayed leaving because I was talking to friends.
3. Didn't go with them to dinner, even though I would have liked to.
4. Where I wanted to go for dinner had no room.
5. I decided to skip other places I would have preferred to go, to go to Sweet Magnolias.
6. I got a good seat at the end of the bar where I could see what was going on, i.e., tables being moved, band setting up, etc.
7. ‘Jack’s Waterfall’ was playing and I buy their CD with some very relevant music. You'd know exactly what I was talking about if you heard the words. The titles make the point though.
Now, let me ask you. Was that just a series of coincidences or was that meant to be? I think it was meant to be. What do you think?
P.S.
I forgot a few things.
8. Three lovely young ladies, mid 30's I'd say, sat around the corner from me at the bar. They were just to the left of my view of the band.
9. The one that faced me had on a low cut top, showing a lot of cleavage. Did I ever tell you I like boobs?
10. Her friend that sat with her back to me, had on low rider jeans that kept "riding low" and revealing a pretty blue thong.
11. The barmaid also had on a low cut top so everytime she bent over to get a bottle of beer, the cleavage view was excellent.
12. I made it home safe and sound.
Just more reasons to drive my point home. ;-)
Sure you have, we all have.
Do you think these things were just a series of coincidences, or do you believe they happened because that something was meant to be? You know fate or destiny? Before you answer, let me tell you a story and then I’ll ask you again.
Last week I got a letter from our church letting me know that they were celebrating All Saints Day and that during the service they remember the church members that have passed away during the last year, Barbara being one of them. I kept changing my mind about going all week, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought it was a good idea. Even though it would make me sad, I thought it would be a good way to honor Barbara and to let her know I’m thinking about her. Brian couldn’t come because he had to be at work a 4:00.
It was a really nice service. The pastor was excellent as usual, and we received Communion. I like that. I even got a little misty-eyed a few times, which I knew would happen. After the service, I hung around for a while to talk to some people I know. They asked me to go to dinner with them, but I didn’t accept the invitation. It would have been nice to chat some more, but I don’t know, I just decided not to go.
The first place I tried for dinner was packed. I decided not to keep trying other places because it was getting late and I was hungry, but to go to a little southern place near me called Sweet Magnolias. It’s never very crowded so I knew I could get a seat. I got a seat at the end of the bar nearer to door. It has really good food so I don’t know why it’s never crowded. I had trout stuffed with breading, shrimp and crayfish; it came with rice and steamed broccoli. Yummy! Did I tell you I like seafood?
Just when I was finished eating, the staff started removing some tables right by me, next to the bar. I knew what that meant, live music. I looked at the chalkboard and saw that some band named ‘Jack’s Waterfall’ was playing. A short time later, I saw the band start carrying in their equipment so I decided to stick around for a little while. I’d never heard of them, but I had a perfect seat, so figured why not stay for a few minutes, have another beer and see if they were any good.
About 45 minutes later, 9:30 or so, the palace is packed, which is always a good sign if you’re looking for good music. They started playing and are excellent! They played all kinds of different stuff; Pop, Blues, Jazz, Folk, Bluegrass, Gospel and even some African music. I really enjoyed it. They did a great rendition of ‘Sweet Georgia Brown’. Now one set turned into two and then two turned into three. I enjoyed it so much I closed the joint. I had a great time. I even bought their CD, it’s called “Calling All Angels”.
I got home and put the CD on. Here is the list of the songs on the CD; Vision, The Hero, The Sweetest Music, Spirit Voices, Believe, Song of Hope, Vuelve, I Am No Prisoner and Calling All Angels. It was very enjoyable, so much so that I put the CD on repeat, turned out the lights and sat back in a large comfortable chair I have and fell asleep after it had played through twice. I woke up when Brian got in and went to bed.
This morning I’m curious to learn something about the group, so look I them up on Google. It seems that Jack Licitra got into music many years ago as a way to help him deal with his father’s death. “The loss of his father at the age of 14 played a major a role in that. Writing songs to help his family through these tough times, Jack began to realize the healing power of music at a young age. It has always been natural for him to express through song and voice some of his deepest emotions in a creative and refined manner. He believes "Music or any of the arts are universal. A shared experience or communication that brings people closer together. It gets them in touch with things they were feeling, but never actually tried to express."
He took the name Jack’s Waterfall “… to reflect a vision of an ever-changing ensemble that would enable me to pursue a variety of creative forms. ...music has transformative qualities – it can facilitate healing, promote unity and certainly express powerful feelings. In my own life it has helped me deal with loss and the passage of time. I believe that the magic of art is its ability to transform the everyday into something greater, something universal, something shared.”
Interesting, huh?
You know, I’m very glad I went there last night because that could be a turning point for me right now. I loved the feelings I got listening to their music. I didn’t talk to anyone really, so to me, it was all about the music. Next week they are playing a charity thing a few towns over at the Brickhouse Brewery. I think I’m going to go. What’s not to like? Great music that makes me feel good and fresh brewed beer.
Okay, let's examine what happened.
1. I went to church even though I hadn't been in 4 or 5 years and I knew it would make me sad. I'm tired of being sad.
2. I got delayed leaving because I was talking to friends.
3. Didn't go with them to dinner, even though I would have liked to.
4. Where I wanted to go for dinner had no room.
5. I decided to skip other places I would have preferred to go, to go to Sweet Magnolias.
6. I got a good seat at the end of the bar where I could see what was going on, i.e., tables being moved, band setting up, etc.
7. ‘Jack’s Waterfall’ was playing and I buy their CD with some very relevant music. You'd know exactly what I was talking about if you heard the words. The titles make the point though.
Now, let me ask you. Was that just a series of coincidences or was that meant to be? I think it was meant to be. What do you think?
P.S.
I forgot a few things.
8. Three lovely young ladies, mid 30's I'd say, sat around the corner from me at the bar. They were just to the left of my view of the band.
9. The one that faced me had on a low cut top, showing a lot of cleavage. Did I ever tell you I like boobs?
10. Her friend that sat with her back to me, had on low rider jeans that kept "riding low" and revealing a pretty blue thong.
11. The barmaid also had on a low cut top so everytime she bent over to get a bottle of beer, the cleavage view was excellent.
12. I made it home safe and sound.
Just more reasons to drive my point home. ;-)
Friday, November 4, 2005
What an exciting birthday I've had so far.
I had off today. My boss gives us off, with pay, for our birthday. Woo, woo!!!
So what did I do for excitement? Lets see.......
1. I woke up early because I couldn't fucking sleep in, so I got up at 7:30.
That sucked big time. I always get to bed late and get up early, and was looking forward to sleeping till the afternoon.
2. I masturbated.
So what else is new. I haven't had sex in about three years.
3. Drank coffee.
Did that while I was masturbating.
4. Posted on my blog.
So what else is new. I do that most days.
5. Talked to my favorite Mod from Political Crossfire Forum, TGND. It's a political forum I help moderate. Bet you didn't know I did that, did you? She called me for my birthday. I thought that was nice of her, don't you?
6. Went out to eat.
Brian worked late so I went out by myself. I had, three Bass Ale pints, a salad with Thousand Island dressing, fried shrimp. Brian got home about 30 second after I pulled in from dinner.
7. Brian gave me a birthday card filled with Lotto tickets for a present.
I love those things, so it was a great present. I never want anything special for a present, because I have everything I want, so I'm a tough one to buy for. But Lotto tickets are always a good choice. BTW, I won $32, not bad, heh?
8. I had a "few" drinks after I got home. (still at it) Hey, it's my birthday so I'm allowed.
Having my favorite, gin & tonic with a dash of lime juice. I don't bother with the real limes anymore. They will probably go bad before I finish them. Now I buy the Rose's Lime Juice. It's gives me the lime taste I like.
9. I've peed a lot today, but after all that drinking WTF do you expect.
If you'll excuse me, I think I'll pee. Be right back.
So what did I do for excitement? Lets see.......
1. I woke up early because I couldn't fucking sleep in, so I got up at 7:30.
That sucked big time. I always get to bed late and get up early, and was looking forward to sleeping till the afternoon.
2. I masturbated.
So what else is new. I haven't had sex in about three years.
3. Drank coffee.
Did that while I was masturbating.
4. Posted on my blog.
So what else is new. I do that most days.
5. Talked to my favorite Mod from Political Crossfire Forum, TGND. It's a political forum I help moderate. Bet you didn't know I did that, did you? She called me for my birthday. I thought that was nice of her, don't you?
6. Went out to eat.
Brian worked late so I went out by myself. I had, three Bass Ale pints, a salad with Thousand Island dressing, fried shrimp. Brian got home about 30 second after I pulled in from dinner.
7. Brian gave me a birthday card filled with Lotto tickets for a present.
I love those things, so it was a great present. I never want anything special for a present, because I have everything I want, so I'm a tough one to buy for. But Lotto tickets are always a good choice. BTW, I won $32, not bad, heh?
8. I had a "few" drinks after I got home. (still at it) Hey, it's my birthday so I'm allowed.
Having my favorite, gin & tonic with a dash of lime juice. I don't bother with the real limes anymore. They will probably go bad before I finish them. Now I buy the Rose's Lime Juice. It's gives me the lime taste I like.
9. I've peed a lot today, but after all that drinking WTF do you expect.
If you'll excuse me, I think I'll pee. Be right back.
BTExpress has dropped a few notches in Japan
BTExpress is down to #4 on Google Japan. A few months a go I was up to #1. Gotta work on that.
But the bright side is I'm up to #3 on Google USA with a search for "coughing and flem with 3 year olds".
Looks like I have to make more posts with bodily functions or illness as a theme. I'm kind of leaning toward diarrhea or vomiting. What do you think?
But the bright side is I'm up to #3 on Google USA with a search for "coughing and flem with 3 year olds".
Looks like I have to make more posts with bodily functions or illness as a theme. I'm kind of leaning toward diarrhea or vomiting. What do you think?
Today's My Birthday
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday dear Tony
Happy Birthday to me!
Weeeee, hip, hip horray.....
:-(
Wednesday, November 2, 2005
Half Nekkid-Thursday Boating Blow Job Fun
Yes, this HNT post has to do with blow jobs. The lovely young lady to the left, Jamie, gave me several blow jobs, all with the okay of Barbara, so don't get your shorts in a knot. This probably sounds a little strange, so let me start from the beginning. Please bare with me as I tend to go on and on.You all know I was a boater since 1994 and that our little family had a wonderful time doing it. Well, today's HNT entry is about the summer we all did blow jobs. We did so many that summer I can't even begin to count how many. Every weekend we all got together, and blow jobs were always on the menu.
The first time I ever had a blow job from someone other than Barbara, was near the end of July that years. I was walking up to the bar at the Montauk Yacht Club to meet up with our friends when I came across my brother in law Wayne, his wife and Barbara's sister Kathy and a couple of friends.
Wayne asks me, "Hey Tony, want a blow job?"
Me, never being one to turn down a blow job, even it was being offered by Wayne, of course said, "Sure!"
"Come on", he said. "Let's go to the bar. I'll get the barmaid to give you one."
We walk over to the bar, it's outside under an awning right next to a pool. It's not that busy, since it's the middle of the afternoon. There are a few couple around the circular bar.
Wayne says to the barmaid, pretty loud mind you, "Give my friend here a blow job."
You should have seen the heads turn and the looks on their face. Hell, you should have seen the look on my face as far as that goes.
She says, "Sure, with or without whipped cream?"
Okay, we have to stop here and savior the moment. The hot barmaid, saying she'll give me a blow job. OMFG! WTF is going on here? I'm guessing the girl is not actually going to give me a blow job, but then again......who knows what Wayne has set up. I mean come on. He convinced the Montauk Point Golf Course starter that I was Governor Cuomo's brother so we could get a tee time right away, so I was not going to put anything past him.
(Note: that's a funny story you'll get a kick out of. Remind me to tell you about that. BTW, I answered to the name Tony Cuomo from then on.)
I say, "Whipped cream please."
(Hey, I got to be polite to a lady that's going to give me a blow job, right?)
She reaches down, grabs a shot glass, and proceeds to fill it with Bailey's Irish Cream, Kahlua and topped with whipped cream. Now the spell is broken. She makes more for the rest of the crowd.
I go to pick it up and Wayne says, "You can't use your hands. You have to pick it up with just your mouth and down it in one shot."
WTF, so I do what he instructs. Wmmmm, tasted pretty good. So we all did another round, and another, and another, and another, and another, and on and on.
In the middle of this, Barbara comes up to the bar looking for me.
"Where have you been?"
"Getting blow jobs from the barmaid."
(Mind you I'm drunk by now.)
Dirty look from Barbara.
"Give my wife a blow job too."
Strange looks and daggers shootong from Barbara's eyes.
Kathy calms her down and explains what is going on. At first she hesitates but then everyone talks her into trying one.
She follows the script, chugs it down in one swallow with just her mouth, and says, "I like it."
Cheers fill the bar area. You see, Barbara was quite a prude and things like downing blow jobs with just her mouth were not like her. But she caught on fast and had good time doing them.
That was the beginning of blow jobs for everyone, every weekend, for the rest of the summer. Here are a couple of pictures of my friends doing blow jobs. FYI, Wayne is the tall blond guy. They called him the "Blender King" for obvious reasons.
Take note of the blond in front. Her name is Jamie. Her husband Billy is right behind her. Boy do I have a great story about the night Jamie and Marian, Mike's wife, were tongue kissing on my lap. Remind me to tell it to you some day.
The two guys on the ends didn't do blow jobs so they missed the fun that summer, fucking party poopers. You know, come to think of it, we did blow jobs for a few years after that.If you've made it this far, you are to be congratulated. And if your wondering what Half Nekkid-Thursday is all about, click on the lady in red's boobs over on the right. It provides you instructions for joining in the fun.
Yeah, yeah, I'm not in any of the shots according to the HNT rules, but I thought you wouldn't mind since Jamie was in them. Damn, she had really nice boobs.
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