I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S COOL,

Boobies are cool.

Boobies in motion are even cooler.

Warning!

The following "Cool link" contains boobies, in motion.

LOTS OF BOOBIES!

http://snipurl.com/v4qu

Dictionary for the difference between men & women

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!

 Dictionary for the difference between men & women

   * THINGY (thing-ee) n.
     Female.. Any part under a car's hood.
     Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

   * VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
     Female.... Fully opening up one's self
       emotionally to another.
     Male.... Playing football without a cup.

   * COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
     Female... The open sharing of thoughts and
       feelings with one's partner.
     Male... Leaving a note before taking off on
       a fishing trip with the boys.

   * COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
     Female.... A desire to get married and
        raise a family.
     Male...... Trying not to hit on other
        women while out with this one.

   * ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
     Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
     Male...... Anything that can be done while
        drinking beer.

   * FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
     Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of
        indigestion.
     Male...... A source of entertainment,
        self-expression, male bonding.

   * MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
     Female...... The greatest expression of
        intimacy a couple can achieve.
     Male.. Call it whatever you want,
        just as long as we do it.

   * REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
     Female.... A device for changing from
         one TV channel to another.
     Male... A device for scanning through
         all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

Here's a Tip You Best Pay Attention Too!!!!!!!

If you are used to being by yourself most of the time...

And you tend to keep the bathroom door open when you go...

Take it from me...

When your significant other stays over...

Either...

Close the bathroom door when you go...

OR

Hide the camera!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HNT Love is...

...browsing the Internet with your sweetheart while naked in bed.

I'm getting to be quit the cook

I cooked dinner for Lori and I last night. I made something new that I hadn't tried before. During the day, I emailed her that I was making a surprise for dinner and all I'd tell her was it included seafood of some type, and my mouth was watering just thinking about it.

When she got home after work, I met her at the door with a gin & tonic and a big hug and a kiss. Then we sat down on the couch, like we always do to talk about our day and anything else that come to mind.

When we were done talking, I handed her the dinner menu I made that day. This took her by surprise and she got a big kick out of it.


Here's how it turned out. What do you think?


It really was pretty easy to prepare and was very good, if I do say so myself. Lori told me she never had anything this fancy outside of a gourmet restaurant. She liked it so much, she cleaned her plate. We held off on desert until later.


After Lori cleaned up from dinner. (Our deal is one of us cooks, the other one cleans up. Since I hate cleaning up, and Lori likes cleaning, this deal works very well for both of us.)

After dinner we took a shower and then sat down on the couch together and watched a movie Lori borrowed from a friend, 'Christine'. Remember this one?


The movie is about a car that was "...born in Detroit on an automobile assembly line. But she is no ordinary Automobile. Deep within her chassis lurks the devil incarnate. She is Christine - a red and white 1958 Plymouth Fury whose unique standard equipment includes a chilling insatiable vengeance that will destroy anyone in her path. She seduces 17-year-old Arnie Cunningham who becomes consumed with passion for her sleek, rounded, chrome-laden body. She demands his absolute and unquestionable devotion and when outsiders seek to interfere, they become victims of Christine's uncontrollable wrath."

Part way through the movie, Lori got the ice cream I promised her for desert. And yes, I really did hand feed her like it said the chef would do in the menu.

Damn, I'm a romantic son-of-a-gun, aren't I?

Love is...

...being awakened by my girl friend at 7:30 am this morning for a quickie before she had to go to work.



P.S.
Don't worry, I fell back to sleep and rested very comfortably until 11:00 am.

Nigerian Spammer - Part 11

Things have been moving a little slow with my Nigerian Spammer, Good Partner Willie, so there hasn’t been much to post. I figure he needed to raise some money for more time at the internet café he’s emailing me from. Here’s an example of what it costs Willie to try and con me.

The cost of staying connected in Nigeria
Source:Wired magazine, May 2006

Internet Café costs:
It costs $0.77 to connect to the internet for one hour, in Nigeria.
This is 28.1% of GDP per capita per day.
Other places...
Paris: $ 4.86 ( =5.9%)
Shanghai: $ 0.62 ( =3.7%)
Moscow: $ 1.50 ( =5.1%)
London: $ 1.78 ( =2.1%)
NYC: $12.80 ( =11.1%)


Anyway, here’s how things have transpired since my last post. The first email is from Willie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Good Partner,

Please do your possible best to go and open an account with BANK OF AMERICA and get back to me immediately.

Urgent reply needed.

I want you to receive your 7.5 Million us Dollars as soon as possible.

Please go and open the account on monday and get back to me with the information you used in getting the account, my friend has an account with BANK OF AMERICA.

Get back to me soon .

Barr William

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nope! I need to settle some things first.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Barr William,

I'm have a few issues with you to settle before we proceed any further with this deal. I have asked you many questions, most of wwitch you dont answer at all. This makes it seem like you is avoiding them witch done make me more uneasy than a chicken in a possem den a wolves. I got to say i need straight answers to all of my unanswered questions before we do anythin. I is really sorry about all these questions but I needs to be careful.

1. is this deal illegal?

2. can I call you Billy or Willy or not? Tell me which you want me to call you.

3. why haven't I got a call from you? you said you was going to call but you never did. Here is the teliphone number again. (202) 324-7126

4. You first axed me fer $750 and then when the new guy get involved you says it's now $1000. What's up with that?

5. Where is the xtra $250 going?

6. Ellie May told me you and her was tryin to set something up. Is that right?

7. Has you and her been talking to each other?

8. Or you married?

Don't shit me on none a these questions or I'll be plum taggert. Okay?

Your Good partner,
Wilburn

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aw crap! I misspelled my own name. I hope he doesn’t catch on that my “pen” name is Milburn not Wilburn.

Naw, what am I saying?

Do you think all my stalling, and all these stupid questions will piss him off enough to give up on me?

Not a chance!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subject: YOUR ANSWERS ……………

Good day to you.

Am not around for few days.

I was wondering what was your intention, I am an attorney of integrity and to be sincere with you, I felt bad about your comments in that mail. However I am happy you are still willing to assist me on the matter.

In regards your questions :

1: is this deal illegal? ANS : I will never participate in anything SCAM at my level of Legal Practice .


2: can I call you Billy or Willy or not? Tell me which you want me to call you ? ANS : WILLY .


3: why haven't I got a call from you? you said you was going to call but you never did. Here is the teliphone number again. (202) 324-7126 ? ANS : I will appreciate you calling me as soon as you receive my mail, through my direct line as stated 234-806-370-1380


4: You first axed me fer $750 and then when the new guy get involved you says it's now $1000. What's up with that? ANS : Yes the required fees from the bank is 750 Dollars for the fund to be transfer to you, but why I want my friend to wire 1000 Dollars is for me to use the balance of 250 Dollars with the money I had to get my ticket money to your country as soon as the bank transfer the fund to you.


5: Where is the xtra $250 going? ANS : To make up my ticket money


6: Ellie May told me you and her was tryin to set something up. Is that right? ANS : When I arrive your country .


7: Has you and her been talking to each other? ANS : NO


8: Or you married? ANS : YES

Your Urgent reply .

William Ibru

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LMAO!!!! His answers are just too good to let go without A LOT of comments back to him from me. What a dick!!!!

I especially like his answer to question 1.

1: is this deal illegal? ANS : I will never participate in anything SCAM at my level of Legal Practice .

Naw, of course not. There are only 207 results that say otherwise when I Googled "William Ibru". Check it out.

What a dick!!!!