Chef Farmer HNT

You all know I'm a world famous gourmet chef, but did you also know I'm a world famous farmer too? Therefore, just call me Chef Farmer. Get it? Chef Farmer. LOL, I crack me up!!! LOL!!!!

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Last week I received an email from the local fish market, The Fish Store. It's in Bayport and has some of the best fresh seafood around. The email advertised a $20 make-at-home dinner special.

8 Pc. Shrimp Cocktail
1 lb. Box of Barilla Pasta
16 oz. Marinara Sauce (Sweet or Fra Diavlo)
½ lb. Cultivated Prince Edward Island Mussels
6 pcs. Local Little or Top Neck Clams
6 pcs. of large Shrimp (peeled and deveined)
¼ lb. Carolina Bay Scallops
1 Loaf of Delicious Italian Bread
Dessert choice of Rice Pudding, Bread Pudding, or Black and white pudding.

That seemed like a great deal, so Saturday on our way home, Lori and I stopped at the Fish Store and picked it up. We choose bread pudding and fra diavlo sauce. I made it on Sunday for dinner.

Here's what we bought, less the bread pudding, because I forgot to put in out when I took the picture.













I tasted their sauce, but it was too plain for me. I always doctor up anything pre-made. I added a few tablespoons of chopped garlic, the more the better as far as we are concerned; a health number of shakes of Italian seasoning and some fresh herbs from my garden. Let's not forget a few shakes of red pepper flakes.

Here's my garden. I love it and highly recommend you all get one. Tell them I sent you and they'll ask you who the fuck is he?









I harvested chives for extra onion flavor.....


(Psst, this is my HNT pic this week.)











..... and some basil for that, uh, basil taste?


(Psst, this is my other HNT pic this week.)














I added the herbs to the sauce and simmered it for a while while Lori and I had a bunch of gin & tonics and the shrimp cocktail.

When a while was up, I added the seafood to the sauce and simmered it for a short while.

Mean while, I pre-heated the broiler for the garlic bread I would be making.

When I figured that was enough a while's, I sprinkled the Italian bread with EVOO graded cheese and chopped garlic and turned on a pot of water for the pasta.

After several a while's more, I cooked the pasta and the garlic bread.

DINNER"S READY!!!!

How's it look?

Happy Mouth Watering HNT from the Chef Farmer!

I Harvested My Dill

Well, some of it anyway. Lori and I were in the fish market last Saturday and she saw that they had a tuna salad made with fresh dill, chopped dill pickles and chopped red onions. So on Tuesday I made tuna salad too. I was too lazy to chop a pickle or an onion, so I just harvested some dill from my garden. (If you didn't already know why I have a garden, scroll down the page and find out why.) The problem was that I didn't use nearly enough fresh dill to make a difference, just a few tablespoons. I was too lazy to harvest more, so just ate the tuna as it was. Next time I'll harvest a lot more dill and even chop up some pickle and onion. Maybe, if I'm not too lazy that is.

How's your day?

Mine, not so good?

My feet are cold.

Don't ya hate having cold feet?

In addition to that.

I'm almost out of gin & tonic.

Which means I have to go to the store and buy some.

Damn!

That means I have to get dressed first.

And that means I have to shower.

It wouldn't be right to put clean clothes on if I don't shower first.

As long I'm going to shower I might as well shave.

I hate shaving.

Maybe I'll grow a beard.

Naw, that would take too long to grow.

And I'd be all scratchy and shit for too long.

Lori complains when I'm all scratchy faced.

And that's not good.

Lori doesn't want to snuggle so close when I'm scratchy.

And you know how much I like my snuggling?

Speaking of Lori.

She ordered a pair of boots she wanted over the weekend.

I agreed to buy them for her if she gave me...........

Wait!

I'd better not tell you that.

She'd kill me if I told you what she promised to give me.

But it's really, really good.

So if I have a scratchy face.

Lori wouldn't want to snuggle so close.

That means she won't give me what she agreed to give me.

And I really want that.

So I guess I'll shave.

As long as I'm going to shave

I might as well shower too.

But then I have to get dressed.

And I like lounging around in my bathrobe.

But I have to get dressed so I can go to the store.

Because I'm almost out of gin & tonic.

But I don't want to go out.

And I don't want to shower.

Or shave.

Or get dressed.

But showering will make my feet warm.

And I really want what Lori promised me.

If I bought her the boots.

So I better go get the gin & tonic.

That solves everything.

Yep.

Getting gin & tonic solves everything.

I feel better now.

So how's your day?

Your Laugh for the Day

I received a good email from my step mom. A few of these jokes are old, but still worth sharing.

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WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

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WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

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UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

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MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."

He addressed the man, “Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

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CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.

(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

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WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

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CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

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WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.

The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . "HEBREWS"

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THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

My Crops are Growing Well

Remember the post I made about the Aero Garden Lori gave me for Christmas? I planted the seed pods on December 27th. This is what my garden looked like on January 8th.


Here's what it looks like today, about a month later. From left to right: mint, parsley, basil, purple basil, dill, chives and thyme.


Right now the dill is the tallest at 5 1/2 inches. The chives and basil were taller, but I trimmed them back a few days ago so they didn't hit the light. I wanted to let the other herbs catch up a little. Now I have to find some recipes I like so I can use them.

I hope y'all have a great weekend!

I Told You So HNT

Don't I look smug?

And you thought the Green Bay Packers would beat the Giants last Sunday. LMAO!!!!!!! I told you the Giants would win and they are going to win against the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl too. Mark my word!!!

Happy HNT to all the Giant fans!!!!!!!!

PS
You know the best part, Jillie lost our bet and has to wear a Giant's tee shirt at her Super Bowl party. I can't wait for that one!

I Got My Haircut

I got my haircut today and when I went to pay, the guy told me it was $10. I usually pay $12, so I questioned him about it. He pointed to the sign with the prices and pointed directly at the Seniors price line for those 65 and over.

I wanted to say, "LET'S MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR! I AM NOT FUCKING 65, I AM FUCKING 59!", but just smiled and told him I wasn't 65 yet. He mumbled something about trying to save me some money.

So everyone out there remember, I AM NOT FUCKING 65, I AM FUCKING 59! and don't you ever forget it! I'll let you know when I'm officially elderly. GOT IT!?!?!?!