My Nephew is Going to Have a Baby

Well, not him exactly, his wife. She's expecting next March. Wow, nice, uh? Not so fast. They just got married on April frigging 23rd. Yeah right, about 2 1/2 months ago. I'm still in shock!

Here's the story.

Kathy came over this past Saturday for a visit and told us that Ad and Mel are going to have a baby. (Now I know why she came over) Barbara's first words were, "Oh wow." Mine were, "Umh fsi...humada, humada, huimada....the....uh....they're...holy...their...huh?" I swear, I couldn't speak. I just stood there mumbling like a mute for something like 15 seconds.

Kathy just smiled. You could tell she was forcing it, because I've seen that smile plenty of times in the past 35 years.

"Uh, wow. Why so quick?" I asked.

"She is 29 you know, did you know that she was older than Ad?"

I shook my head no.

"I guess the maternal urge has hit her. Wayne was shocked." (Kathy's husband)

"What about you?" I asked.

Again the forced smile, with "I'm going to be a grandmother. Can you believe it? A grandmother."

I just smiled and didn't ask her anything else, because I knew she was unhappy, so I just said, "Well, congratulate them for me, ok?"

I went back to the computer and Kathy spent a little more time visiting with Barbara.

Then I started doing the math. "Baby due next March. March plus three equals June. They get married on April 23rd and gets pregnant two months later. That's right, whole fucking two months. WTF were they thinking. They are going to have enough trouble adjusting to just being married, and now they're going have a baby. Idiots.

Then it dawns on me. My brother got married something like six months after he met Diane. She also got pregnant right away. After she had the baby, it wasn't two years before she took the kid and walked out on him. Yeah, he was an idiot too.