Waiting for Dinner HNT

This picture was taken at "Jerry & the Mermaid" in Riverhead the weekend we went to the Polish Festival.

Nigerian Spammer - Part 12

I've been letting my Good Partner Willy wait. I guess he's getting impatient, because I received this email from him.

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Dear Willy,

Hope you have seen my mail ,I expect you to act fast as time is not on our side .I called you immediately before sending this particular mail and a lady picked up the phone and told me that there is none by the name Milburn.

Please you can call me ,or you give to me your direct line .

thanks .

Willy

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The poor guy is having trouble keeping his aliases straight, because he addressed this one to Willy. Since my alias is Milburn and not Willy, I replied to his email with this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm sorry, but I think you sent this to the wrong person. My name is not Willy.

I'm only replying to this email because of the urgent tone of the message.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn't get a reply to that email, but got this one a couple of days later.

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Dear Good Partner,

What seem to be the problem opening the account with the Bank of America?Its been long i heard from you ,like i said earlier i called you but a lady picked up the phone and said there was none by your name .

Please i need to know the situation of things ,Keep me updated .thanks a lot .

Barr William Ibru

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I thought about how to reply for a couple of days before I sent this email out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi Barr Ibru,
This is not Milburn but his brother Jed. Milburn got his self arrested so he axed me to send you this here email and tell you know he has been arrested so that is why he ain't get back to you in a while. It ain't sereous trouble but he are hasin trouble with the law rite now. He says to tell you he will get back to you as soon as he can. If you need to axe him somthin let me know and I tell him. He should be out a jail by the end a the week so hang in thar okay?
Jed

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Willy repied to Jed's email with this.

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Hello,

I am very sorry to hear this,well hope you can handle the trouble?Let me know the situation of things.Do tell him i called to find out what the problem is,and that immediately he gets out he should let me know .

Extend my greetings to him.

Best regards .

Barr William Ibru

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nice to know Willy is concerned and that he isn't giving up. LOL!!!

You know what I was thinking? Guess that 7-day time limit for me to open the bank account wasn't a firm requirement, huh?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S COOL,

Boobies are cool.

Boobies in motion are even cooler.

Warning!

The following "Cool link" contains boobies, in motion.

LOTS OF BOOBIES!

http://snipurl.com/v4qu

Dictionary for the difference between men & women

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!

 Dictionary for the difference between men & women

   * THINGY (thing-ee) n.
     Female.. Any part under a car's hood.
     Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

   * VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
     Female.... Fully opening up one's self
       emotionally to another.
     Male.... Playing football without a cup.

   * COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
     Female... The open sharing of thoughts and
       feelings with one's partner.
     Male... Leaving a note before taking off on
       a fishing trip with the boys.

   * COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
     Female.... A desire to get married and
        raise a family.
     Male...... Trying not to hit on other
        women while out with this one.

   * ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
     Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
     Male...... Anything that can be done while
        drinking beer.

   * FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
     Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of
        indigestion.
     Male...... A source of entertainment,
        self-expression, male bonding.

   * MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
     Female...... The greatest expression of
        intimacy a couple can achieve.
     Male.. Call it whatever you want,
        just as long as we do it.

   * REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
     Female.... A device for changing from
         one TV channel to another.
     Male... A device for scanning through
         all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

Here's a Tip You Best Pay Attention Too!!!!!!!

If you are used to being by yourself most of the time...

And you tend to keep the bathroom door open when you go...

Take it from me...

When your significant other stays over...

Either...

Close the bathroom door when you go...

OR

Hide the camera!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HNT Love is...

...browsing the Internet with your sweetheart while naked in bed.

I'm getting to be quit the cook

I cooked dinner for Lori and I last night. I made something new that I hadn't tried before. During the day, I emailed her that I was making a surprise for dinner and all I'd tell her was it included seafood of some type, and my mouth was watering just thinking about it.

When she got home after work, I met her at the door with a gin & tonic and a big hug and a kiss. Then we sat down on the couch, like we always do to talk about our day and anything else that come to mind.

When we were done talking, I handed her the dinner menu I made that day. This took her by surprise and she got a big kick out of it.


Here's how it turned out. What do you think?


It really was pretty easy to prepare and was very good, if I do say so myself. Lori told me she never had anything this fancy outside of a gourmet restaurant. She liked it so much, she cleaned her plate. We held off on desert until later.


After Lori cleaned up from dinner. (Our deal is one of us cooks, the other one cleans up. Since I hate cleaning up, and Lori likes cleaning, this deal works very well for both of us.)

After dinner we took a shower and then sat down on the couch together and watched a movie Lori borrowed from a friend, 'Christine'. Remember this one?


The movie is about a car that was "...born in Detroit on an automobile assembly line. But she is no ordinary Automobile. Deep within her chassis lurks the devil incarnate. She is Christine - a red and white 1958 Plymouth Fury whose unique standard equipment includes a chilling insatiable vengeance that will destroy anyone in her path. She seduces 17-year-old Arnie Cunningham who becomes consumed with passion for her sleek, rounded, chrome-laden body. She demands his absolute and unquestionable devotion and when outsiders seek to interfere, they become victims of Christine's uncontrollable wrath."

Part way through the movie, Lori got the ice cream I promised her for desert. And yes, I really did hand feed her like it said the chef would do in the menu.

Damn, I'm a romantic son-of-a-gun, aren't I?

Love is...

...being awakened by my girl friend at 7:30 am this morning for a quickie before she had to go to work.



P.S.
Don't worry, I fell back to sleep and rested very comfortably until 11:00 am.

Nigerian Spammer - Part 11

Things have been moving a little slow with my Nigerian Spammer, Good Partner Willie, so there hasn’t been much to post. I figure he needed to raise some money for more time at the internet café he’s emailing me from. Here’s an example of what it costs Willie to try and con me.

The cost of staying connected in Nigeria
Source:Wired magazine, May 2006

Internet Café costs:
It costs $0.77 to connect to the internet for one hour, in Nigeria.
This is 28.1% of GDP per capita per day.
Other places...
Paris: $ 4.86 ( =5.9%)
Shanghai: $ 0.62 ( =3.7%)
Moscow: $ 1.50 ( =5.1%)
London: $ 1.78 ( =2.1%)
NYC: $12.80 ( =11.1%)


Anyway, here’s how things have transpired since my last post. The first email is from Willie.

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Dear Good Partner,

Please do your possible best to go and open an account with BANK OF AMERICA and get back to me immediately.

Urgent reply needed.

I want you to receive your 7.5 Million us Dollars as soon as possible.

Please go and open the account on monday and get back to me with the information you used in getting the account, my friend has an account with BANK OF AMERICA.

Get back to me soon .

Barr William

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Nope! I need to settle some things first.

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Dear Barr William,

I'm have a few issues with you to settle before we proceed any further with this deal. I have asked you many questions, most of wwitch you dont answer at all. This makes it seem like you is avoiding them witch done make me more uneasy than a chicken in a possem den a wolves. I got to say i need straight answers to all of my unanswered questions before we do anythin. I is really sorry about all these questions but I needs to be careful.

1. is this deal illegal?

2. can I call you Billy or Willy or not? Tell me which you want me to call you.

3. why haven't I got a call from you? you said you was going to call but you never did. Here is the teliphone number again. (202) 324-7126

4. You first axed me fer $750 and then when the new guy get involved you says it's now $1000. What's up with that?

5. Where is the xtra $250 going?

6. Ellie May told me you and her was tryin to set something up. Is that right?

7. Has you and her been talking to each other?

8. Or you married?

Don't shit me on none a these questions or I'll be plum taggert. Okay?

Your Good partner,
Wilburn

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Aw crap! I misspelled my own name. I hope he doesn’t catch on that my “pen” name is Milburn not Wilburn.

Naw, what am I saying?

Do you think all my stalling, and all these stupid questions will piss him off enough to give up on me?

Not a chance!

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Subject: YOUR ANSWERS ……………

Good day to you.

Am not around for few days.

I was wondering what was your intention, I am an attorney of integrity and to be sincere with you, I felt bad about your comments in that mail. However I am happy you are still willing to assist me on the matter.

In regards your questions :

1: is this deal illegal? ANS : I will never participate in anything SCAM at my level of Legal Practice .


2: can I call you Billy or Willy or not? Tell me which you want me to call you ? ANS : WILLY .


3: why haven't I got a call from you? you said you was going to call but you never did. Here is the teliphone number again. (202) 324-7126 ? ANS : I will appreciate you calling me as soon as you receive my mail, through my direct line as stated 234-806-370-1380


4: You first axed me fer $750 and then when the new guy get involved you says it's now $1000. What's up with that? ANS : Yes the required fees from the bank is 750 Dollars for the fund to be transfer to you, but why I want my friend to wire 1000 Dollars is for me to use the balance of 250 Dollars with the money I had to get my ticket money to your country as soon as the bank transfer the fund to you.


5: Where is the xtra $250 going? ANS : To make up my ticket money


6: Ellie May told me you and her was tryin to set something up. Is that right? ANS : When I arrive your country .


7: Has you and her been talking to each other? ANS : NO


8: Or you married? ANS : YES

Your Urgent reply .

William Ibru

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LMAO!!!! His answers are just too good to let go without A LOT of comments back to him from me. What a dick!!!!

I especially like his answer to question 1.

1: is this deal illegal? ANS : I will never participate in anything SCAM at my level of Legal Practice .

Naw, of course not. There are only 207 results that say otherwise when I Googled "William Ibru". Check it out.

What a dick!!!!

The Weekend Was a Ball!

I just got home after a very busy event filled weekend. I'll make a detailed post later this week, but briefly...

1. Friday night we snuggled and then went out to Jerry's for drinks, karaoke and a peek at Liz's pierced nipple.
2. When we got back to the motel, we snuggled some more.
3. Saturday morning we snuggled and then drove out to Montauk Point where we spend day.
4. When we got back to the motel, we took a shower, snuggled and rested before going back to Jerry's for dinner, drinks and karaoke, but no nipple flashing this time.
5. We went back to the motel, snuggled and watched a little TV before falling asleep.
6. Sunday we slept in until 1:30. We were going to snuggle, but we didn't because we really wanted have some time to walk around the Polish Festival.
7. It was painfully hot and humid out, so at around 3:30 we left the festival and went over to the Atlantis Marine World Aquarium where Lori works. Lori gave me a tour until it closed at 5:00.
8. We went back to the motel and rested up before we went to dinner at a great Polish restaurant & bar in what they call Polish Town in Riverhead.
9. After dinner we went back to the motel and showered before going to bed. We were both so tired we didn't even snuggle and fell asleep by 10:30.
10. About 2:30 am, I felt myself being molested by Lori and being as on the ball as I am, I took it to mean she wanted to snuggle. I was correct, so did.
11. We fell back to sleep about 3:30.
12. About 8:00 Lori got up, showered, packed her stuff and then left work.
13. I tried to go back to sleep, but to no avail. I packed up the car around 10:30 and left home.

There is so much more to tell about the weekend (pictures to be included), but that will have to wait. You see, Lori is spending the week here at my place and will be coming over about 6:00 after she gets off of work.

I plan on taking her out to Red Lobster for dinner tonight and I'm sure we will squeeze in a little snuggling and maybe even some skinny dipping if the pool is warm enough.

Please pardon me while I go lie down and try to take a nap. I need to rest up for the start of a big week.

What a Week This Is Going To Be!

Tonight I meet Lori in Riverhead after she gets off of work. We are spending this weekend on eastern Long Island, so I rented a motel room in Riverhead for the weekend so we didn't have to make the extra 30 mile drive each day from my house.

Make sense, right?

Friday night I'm not sure what we will do, other than go out to dinner and catch up on some snuggling.

Saturday we are going to tour the Montauk Point area and will probably stop in the Hamptons on the way. Lori hasn't been to those places and I want to show her around.

Sunday we are going to the Polish Festival in Riverhead. We are going to meet Lori's daughter and friend there so that will be fun. There will be lots of traditional Polish food and beer. I'm half Polish so the festival is going to be a treat for me.

Also on Sunday my son Brian is going to Kismet on Fire Island for a week. He and his friends rented a house there. If you don't know, Kismet is one of about 15 or 16 communities on Fire Island, with Cherry grove being to one most people have heard about. On one side of Fire Island is the Great South Bay and on the other side is the Atlantic Ocean.

Monday morning Lori will go to work and I will go home. When Lori gets off of work on Monday, she will come over to my place. She will be staying with me for the week. She has to go to work each day, but will be coming home to me each night. Since Brian won't be home, the Official Rules of Nudism will be in effect all week.

The following weekend we will be going to the Maritime Festival in West Sayville. That's two days of music, beer, wine, seafood and lots of other things to do. They are even having a hot air balloon ride.

What a week this is going to be! I am so excited!!!!!!!

What a Weekend!

Last weekend my son Brian went upstate with his girl friend Cheryl and Lori and I had the place to ourselves from Thursday night until late Sunday night. Lori and I decided we would spend as much of that time as possible abiding by the Official Rules of Nudism.

The week was tough for Lori so Thursday I had a gin and tonic, a bouquet of flowers and two 1 1/2 pound lobsters waiting for her when she got home that night. I didn't get a shot of the flowers or the the drink, but here's one of the lobsters.



Since I cooked dinner, you know what that means? Lori had to clean up.



Saturday and Sunday morning I made breakfast for us. Saturday Lori wanted scrambled eggs, home fries and sausage.


Sunday morning after breakfast we sat outside by the pool finishing the coffee. Lori "suggested" we clean out my refrigerator. Since it hasn't been cleaned out in a while what year is this again? and since I'm basically lazy but not one to turn down free help, especially if it's from a very pretty, hot, naked, sexy babe, I said yes. And since I had the help, we I decided to expand that into cleaning as much of the kitchen as we could get to that day.

We started with the the cabinet under the microwave oven where I store the potatoes and onions. That's where I discovered the mummified potato. (Congratulations for the correct guess on what this object was goes to Stolen Halo and Roxi!) Then we moved on to the the refridgerator where I found the five year old meat.

Once we got started, there was no stopping us until we just plain ran out of time. Here are a couple of the before pictures of the kitchen.



Here are some after shots.



We did a good job, didn't we?

We worked most of the day until the sun started going behind the trees. Then we stopped because we wanted to get in some skinny dipping before the sun went down.

(The picture without the red blocks covering the you know whats can be seen on my HNT blog.)

Let's see, what else happened over the weekend? We went shopping, watched TV and some DVDs, I cooked crab legs one night and we snuggled A LOT. I loose track after the snuggling part, so can't think of anything else right now.

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday Y'all!

While cleaning out my freezer on Sunday

I came across this. Notice the date.



I found that five year old package of meat not long after I found this object. I'm beginning to have second thoughts about cleaning out under my kitchen sink.

I'll tell you what the object is on Thursday.

Any guesses what this is?

I found it while exploring my kitchen on Sunday.

Nigerian Spammer - Part 10

I heard from my Good Partner William this morning.

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Thanks for your mail and update. Please do your possible best to open the account with wells fargo bank online today and send me the information you used in opening the account.

As soon as you open the account you will follow the instruction below and get back to me.

Note :

My friend will not say anything .

This transaction is between both of us.

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I'm so glad our new partner will keep his mouth shut. LOL!

I decided to stall William some more by refusing to open a bank account with Wells Fargo. I need some information on Wells Fargo so I Googled them to try and get some ideas about what to say to William. I found a VERY long complaint by some guy that has had a lot of trouble banking with them. The post was almost 3,000 words long. It's very boring so I'm deleting most of it for you, but I sent the whole thing to Willie to see what he would say. Before I sent it to Willy, I added a little sex to spice things up a tad. The original is in black text and my modifications are in blue.

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Dear Partner Willy,
I called my Cousin Merl to axe him about opening a bank account wit Wells Fargo. See Merl graduated 8th grade and knows lots of stuff. Don’t worry cause I dint tell him about our secret deal partner. Anyways, Merl say I shouldn’t deal wit Wells Fargo cause he got fucked by them. He sent me this here email telling me all about the shit they did to him. I don’t rightly understand evrything he says in the email but I trust Merl. If he says no Wells Fargos then they ain't no way I deal wit Wells Fargo. He says they suck bigger than a vaccuum cleaner. Here is the email he send to me so you understand my concern.
Your Good and Loving Partner,
Milton

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Milton,

Please don’t get involved with Wells Fargo as they suck harder than a vacuum cleaner with a fresh bag. I have had nothing but problems in my dealing with them.

Well, not everything has been a problem. There was the time I got the greatest blow job I’ve ever had from the manager of the Brentwood branch. If your ever in that area, go in and ask for Mary Beth and tell her Merl told you all about her. She’s so fucking hot and horny all the time and your certain to get at least a blow job like I did. Milton that woman could suck a possum through a straw with that mouth of hers. Hell, you may even get laid if you buy her a few drinks.

Sorry I got side tracked and should stay on topic, so here’s my story.

I've been with Wells Fargo bank for 9 years now and I can safely say that nobody in their right mind would bank with them. They are an atrocious bank. Completely and utterly incompetent. I don't understand how they've gotten to the position they are in being this bad. It seems nearly impossible to contemplate.

The following is not the only thing that has happened to me but it is the most recent and so the most clear in my mind.

In August 2000 I decide I'm going to move back to Japan....(text deleted) ....................
... blah
... blah
... blah
(more text deleted)
... blah
... blah

I remember about 7 years ago being pissed off enough to want to switch. That wasn't the only time either. I actually stormed out of a branch and spent the rest of the day interviewing banks. At the time the best bank appeared to be Fidelity Federal. It's was a smaller bank though and with few branches and a month after that episode I moved to the San Francisco area and so I didn't end up switching at that time.

Now I just can't take it anymore. Anybody know a bank that works? Although I'll be using the Citibank PBOE for transfers and stuff they don't have all the features I want and they are expensive so I'm still looking for another bank for my main bank.
U U U U U U G G G G G G G G H H H H H H H H H H ! ! ! ! !

Please please please do not use Wells Fargo. Please find another bank. Do not reward this bank with your patronage. You're only helping an evil empire. Please get out now.

Give all my best to the family.

Your loving cousin
Merl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So yesterday I got a reply from Willy.

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Dear Good Partner,

Go and open ONLINE BANKING WITH BANK OF AMERICA and get back to me .

My friend also banks with bank of america.

Urgent reply needded

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I want to drag this out some more until he gets frustrated enough to get upset with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subject: Hey, was up?

William,
What do i do now? I send you a email about them mutha fuckas at Wells Fargo but I dint here from you. And Ellie May told me you and her was tryin to set something up. Is that right? Has you and her been talking to each other?
Wilburn

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If you remember, Ellie May told Willy not to say anything about Willy and her emailing each other. So why did she tell Milburn then? Who knows, I'll think of something later if I have to.

And....

I wonder how Willie will interpret my email? Will he think I'm upset with him for talking to Ellie May, or what will he think? It doesn't matter what he thinks or what his reply to me is, I'm going to be upset with him. :-)

Diving Lesson (NOT) HNT

1. Put on your sexiest bathing suit and get into diving position on the diving board. (Try not to look like this dork.)



2. Dive gracefully into the water. (Don't fall face first into the water like this guy did.)



3. Glide smoothly into the water making as small a splash as possible. (Again, don't do what this guy did. He made the mistake of making sure his body was parallel with the surface of the water when he hit. He not only made a big splash with the belly flop, this also gave him severe abdominal pain.



4. Reward yourself with the favorite meal of your choice for a job well done. (Or in this guys case, he consoled himself with this lobster dinner for being a schmuck.)



Note: For the story behind this story, check out the post immediately below. Or not, that's up to you.

Weekend Update

Okay, so I'm a little late, but better late than never huh?

Last Thursday was Lori's birthday (All I'll say is she is over 21 and is over the age of consent.) and Friday was our Fifth Month Anniversary. (Can you believe we have been seeing each other for 5 months already?) Thursday through Monday morning we celebrated both special days.

Thursday Lori's children took her out for dinner and they invited me to come along.


Friday Lori came over to my place after she got off of work. I gave her, her presents. She asked me to wrap them in aluminum foil. (Don't ask!)



I got her a laptop. She has a VERY old Mac that keeps locking up on her when we chat online at night. It became such a pain in "my" ass that I decided to replace it for her.

Last weekend was the Annual Sayville Summerfest so we went up there Friday to check it out. Friday was just the carnival and a lot of food booths. We saw the food booth for a local restaurant that advertised a deal on a lobster dinner at the restaurant. Lori had never had lobster so we went over there to eat. For $12.95 they had a 1 pound lobster, corn on the cob and baked small red potatoes. They also gave us a basket of rolls and corn bread.

(Pardon the picture. I know it sucks, but it's all I have.)

When we got back home, we went right to bed because we were both so tired. Heck, we were so tired we didn't even snuggle. But Saturday morning we made up for it. :-)

Saturday afternoon we went up to town to check out the events. Town closed off Main Street to traffic and they had an Art Show of sorts. A lot of local artists showed their painting, drawings and photography and had it for sale if you wanted to buy it.


We were there about an hour when Lori got a call from one of her co-workers. We met them at a local pub in town. We stayed for a while and had a few drinks with them. We wanted to walk around the Summerfest, but they wanted to drink some more, so we left. We cruised the many craft booths and got something to eat too. We had sausage and peppers and grilled corn. Then back to my house for a swim. (Naughty Lori went skinny-dipping but don't tell her I told you.)

Sunday we got up and had breakfast by the pool.


After breakfast we went back up to the Summerfest. This was the day we really wanted to go because they had a car show with 350 classic cars! (Yes, 350!) Most of them were from the 50's and later. The highlight for Lori was seeing the car from the movie 'Christine'. (She even touched the door handle.) That movie is a favorite of hers. They also had go-cart races, which was very cool.



Here are some pictures I took of the cars.



Lori loved the lobster dinner we had Friday night so much, that she suggested we have it again that night for dinner. I really enjoyed the lobster myself so agreed. I decided to get a couple of fresh ones and cook dinner for her.

First we went up to the local farm stand and bought fresh tomatoes, red onion and corn on the cob and then I drove over to the fish market and bought two fresh live lobsters.



When we got home, I made the tomato salad so the flavors could blend until it was time to eat. I made it with fresh tomato, basil and onion with a little olive oil and balsamic vinegar. We also cleaned the corn and soaked it in some water so I could grill it. Then we made a couple of drinks and went for a swim. Here's some shots of me showing Lori how not to dive.




Here's a picture of me grilling the corn.

The corn turned out good.

Dinner turned out GREAT!


Then we cleaned up. Well, Lori cleaned up. We have a deal, if I cook, she cleans up.


Then we watched some TV and went to bed for, uh, snuggling. (Come to think of it, we did quite a bit of snuggling last weekend.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stay tuned for my post about next weekend. My son Brian is going upstate for the weekend, which leaves Lori and I alone without worrying when he and his girl friend will pop up. One thing for sure is that we won't have a lot of dirty laundry since clothing will be optional and even discouraged all weekend. Sort of like the rules in nudist camps. ;-)

Anyone want to come over?

Nigerian Spammer - Part 9

I haven't heard from the bank yet, nor has Ellie May heard back from Willy, but my "Good Partner" Willy sent me another email to calm my concerns about where I was going to get the routing number and the $750 to pay some imaginary fee in Nigeria. Looks like I don't need no stinking routing number if I just open an online bank account.

I think it's really funny that no one seems to even know what a routing number is and all I have to do is ask my bank for it. What dicks these guys are. :-D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Good Partner,

I just received your mail with the point noted.

There is no much problem, I just called my very Good friend that works with an oil company in your country, and I explained everything to him . He has offered to help our situation .

You are advise to go and open an ONLINE BANKING WITH WELLS FARGO BANK so that he can transfer 1000 Dollars to your account, which you will send 940 Dollars and use 60 Dollars as the western union charges.

Once you open the account and send me the following information you use in opening the account, as stated

1: Your Account Number 2: Your House zip code and your full names you use in opening the account

Once you send the following above, I will call my friend to send the cash to your account so that we will be able to offset the bill at hand.

I will do my best to come up with the balance as soon as my friend send the 1000 Dollars to your account and you send 940 Dollars immediately for our mutual benefit

Urgent reply needed.

Barr William

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WTF is this with a new "Good friend" and now wanting $940? I must relay my concern to Willy before I open a Wells Fargo account. ;-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Dear Partner Willy,
They sure is good news that I ain't got to pay no money cause that'd be tough. But hey! What's the deal with another partner? How much is he getting for coming up with the cash like this. You ain't said we have a nother partner. Can we trust this here guy to keep his mouth shut? Sides the bank only wants $750.000 so where are the rest a the moneys going?
Bestest regards
Milburn

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes Patty Cake, people fall for this scam. More people than you'd ever believe. Here's just one of many stories about these con artists you can find on the Internet. This one is from 2004.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dutch police arrests 52 'Nigerian' spammers

In January, Dutch police have arrested 52 people suspected of large scale internet fraud with the infamous 'Nigerian e-mail' scam.

The scammers sent spam e-mails asking for help in transferring a large sum of money out of their country (usually Nigeria), in exchange for a generous percentage. According to an AP news report, the gang had reaped millions of Euros. A task force of 80 officers raided 23 apartments, seizing computers, fake passports and 50,000 Euro in cash.

Jan Willem Broekema, board member of the Dutch Data Protection Authority explained during the OECD workshop on spam that he expected hundreds more to be arrested in the nearby future, presumably putting a worldwide stop to the Nigerian scam.

Arrests have been made in several countries in recent years, including Australia, Canada, and the United States, but the brunt seemed based in Amsterdam, in a remote high-rise area locally known as 'Bijlmer'. Six people, three from Nigeria and three from Benin, were convicted in a similar case in Amsterdam in May, receiving sentences of up to 4 1/2 years. They had robbed their victims for at least 4 million euros. The most spectacular victim of the gang, a Swiss professor, transferred almost half a million euro. The money was necessary to buy chemicals to clean banknotes with a total value of 36 million US Dollars, the gang told the gullible professor. He was promised 25% of that amount.

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You'd think that a professor would be smart enough not to get conned like that.

Nigerian Spammer - Part 8

I heard back from the bank three days ago.

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FUND RELEASE INSTRUCTION VIDE BILL No.TIB/1/7289/04, SUM-US$7. 500,000.00 ON ACCOUNT No.0227300025/99

This is to acknowledge receipt of your mail.

View Attachment to see your Payment Scheduled .........

Attention :

Following the conclusion of all procedural actions and verification necessary to intiate the transfer of the funds to your designted account which you will reconfirmed to us in your next reply,

1: Your Account Number / Routing Number

To enable us not to Transfer the fund to a wrong account.

We have the singular honour to inform you that the board of this bank has given its tentative approval for the funds in question to be transfered to you. You are immediately to remit to this bank the mandatory 0.1% governmental/taxation charges as acrued on your funds amounting to exactly 750$ ( Seven Hundred and Fifty US Dollars).

I suggest you embark upon this action today so that the board can give its final approval once the taxation/governmental requirements have been met.

The banks receiving officer for the governmental/taxation charges are below, hence you are to use this information through ( western union Money Transfer ) below for the transfer.

RECEIVING NAME: OKONJI AMAECHI DANIEL

RECEIVINGADDRESS: LAGOS - NIGERIA
QUESTION: WHO IS MY HELPER?
ANSWER: GOD.

Do send the transfer information immediately you have sent it to this email address for further action. I suggest that you maintain the rate at which your file is being treated by effecting the transfer today ..

Please, confirm the receipt of this mail.

View Attachment to see your Payment Scheduled .........

Thank you for your co-operation and congratulations!!

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LOL... they want my routing number again. What dicks! They sure have bad memories, because I already told them "I ain't git no routing number and don't know where to get one".

I guess my delay in sending the money to OKONJI AMAECHI DANIEL is starting to worry my friend William because this morning I got two emails from him. The first one was received at 5:30 am.

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Dear Good Partner,

How are you ?

The bank has the transfered the fund to your account and you kept silnece.

Urgent reply needed.

Barr William

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The impatient son of a gun sent me a second email just three hours later at 8:51 am.

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Dear Milburn,

What seem to be the sitiuation of things ? Why are you silent? We are in the last stages of this transaction and i dont need no flops .

Get back at me immediately you get this mail .

Barr William

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I waited all day to answer the bank just to worry Willy some more and then at the last minute, I decided not to reply to the bank but to ask my barrister Willy for some help. I figured a little more delay can't hurt, right?

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Hello Willy!
Sorry for not gettin back to you sooner but I don't work weekends cause it's agin my princlpies to work on off days and this here moneys deal is a hell of a lot of work so far. I'm not used to all this here work for sure. I need your help wit something. I got another email from the bank and that stupid Dr Musa Bako what is the directer of the bank says I needs a routing number after saying I don't needs one. I already told yous all that I don't have one and don't know where to get one and that I need you or the bank to help me or something. Anyways, read the email he sent me and tell me where to get a routing number and what I got to do. And he wants some money. You never said i had to give no body any money. That $750 is a heck a lot .
Fondly
Milburn

PS
Ellie May says hi. I thin she likes you. Do you like her?

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Oh, fuck it! Why keep the bank waiting? It might ruin the deal..................NOT! ;-)

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Dear Mr Dr Bako,
I am excitedly happy I am getting the moneys, but what the fuck is this about a routing number again? I already told you I don't know where to get one. Then you told me I don't need ones. Now yous tell me to give it to you again. Where do i get a routing number? And i already give you my account number befere so why is you axing me fer it again? Why do i need to gives you $750? That's a plum heck of a lot of moneys! How about yous just take it from the money I am getting? Seems to me that is a heck of a lot easier huh?
Regards
Milburn Drysdale

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I wonder what happens next? LMAO!

Nigerian Spammer - Part 7

While I let the bank squirm wondering when I was going to send them my "Banking Details", I thought about my partner Willy and how much he must be pineing away for my sister Ellie May. I mean he does seem interested in her right. So I thought an email from her would be in order.

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From: "Dallas Ralph"
To: "williamibru14"
Subject: This is from Ellie May

Hi William,

I snuck on my brother Milburn's computer and got your email address. You know him, Milburn Drysdale. He is pissed at you so he wouldn't give it to me. Please don't let him know about this or he skin me alive, ok?

Anyways, I saw your picture and think your cute. Milburn says you liked my pictures so I'm attaching another one here of my and my cousin Merl and me at his wedding. I really like this pictures because it shows off my big tits. I hope you like big tits.

I hope you write me back real soon.

Love,
Ellie May

PS
Dallas Ralph is my dog's name so don't be scared at the email name.

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Here's the picture I sent. Don't you think my cousin Merl looks an aweful lot like Elvis Presley?

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It took longer than I thought, but Ellie May received a reply from William, or is it?

Take note of the name in his email address.

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From: "jay-pee odonwodo" (ruthlessizeberg@yahoo.com)
Subject: This is from william ibru
To: dallas_ralph@yahoo.com

My Dear Ellie,

I must confess that your picture is real preety .From the way you sound in your note to me,you must be a nice person and a wonderful friend .Well, Thanks a lot for admiering me .

I will love to know you better ,what do you do for a living ,how old her you ,if possible everything about you .

I wont let your brother know what you dont want him to know ,so thats the second reason why i have to write you from my personal email i.d .And the first reason is that the other email is for business purposses.So my Dear Ellie you can now confortably keep in touch with me with this email i.d .

My Dear May, As soon as i conclude my transaction with your brother-Milburn,I look forward to meeting you in your country .

And lastly ,Yes i do like big tits,Just pray that my transaction with your brother works out successfully .o.k

And Please Dear ,Do take care of that body .o.k

Hope to hear from you real soon...................

William

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Oh man, this is going to be good! LOL!!!!

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