I'm All Alone Today :-(

Lori went up to Rhode Island to visit her family and exchange Christmas gifts on Friday. I think this is only the second or third weekend we haven't spent together since we started dating. She will be back here tomorrow about 5:30pm so I guess I'll just have to suck it up and deal with it.

I'm going to cook dinner tomorrow night. We’re starting off with shrimp cocktail and then we’ll have leg of lamb (It was on sale for just $2.99/pound). I’m also making vegetables, creamed onions and applesauce. I’m not really making the applesauce, but opening the jar counts as making it in my kitchen. I'm cooking the lamb and vegetables in a Reynolds oven bag and see how it comes out.

Later today I'm going to take the advice of Anonymous and cut slits in the lamb and put garlic in them. I'm also going to cover the lamb with an herb mixture and let it sit over night in the fridge to absorb the favors.

Don’t you wish you were coming for dinner?

HUH?

Okay, I know you been busy and all.

What with Christmas and stuff....

......but did you have to ignore my post on the 27th?

I didn't get one comment.

NOT ONE!

:-(

How about making this old guy happy and checking out that post.

If you don't want to, send me pictures of boobs.

You all know how I love boobs!

Come to think of it,

Forget that post and just send me the boob pictures. :-)

Pictures of your other naughty bits are okay too.

:-)

Favorite HNT Pic of 2006

King Os proclaimed that this weeks HNT post shall be about our favorite HNT picture of 2006. This was a very, very tough assignment. I spent quite a bit of time going through last years posts on my HNT blog, but settled on just one picture.

A LOT has happened to me in 2006, but the most important thing was meeting the new love of my life, Lori. This picture pretty much says it all. Here's the post.

Lori, thank you for coming into my life. I love you more than Fridays!

Christmas Update

Last year I wasn’t in the mood to celebrate Christmas, but this year was a different story. Hey, I even put up a tree. As you can see, I didn’t decorate it, but it’s still a Christmas tree in my book!

It’s one of those fiber optic trees. There’s a light in the base that shines through a rotating plastic disk and onto a bunch of plastic fibers. The fibers run up the tree and out to the ends of the branches. They constantly change colors. The best part is that the tree is completely assembled so all you have to do is stick it in the base and fold down the branches. Looks pretty cool.

Last weeks Lori was here from Wednesday evening until late Sunday afternoon. She still went to work on Thursday and Friday, but came here after work instead of going home. Wednesday night was here company Christmas party. She works at the Atlantis Marine World Aquarium in Riverhead. The aquarium is owned by two guys that also own other businesses and this year the owners decided to have one party for everyone, guests included. They said there were about 300 people at the party.

The party was spectacular as far as Christmas parties goes. There were four open bars, DJ’s, large buffet and a desert bar with chocolate fountains. The best part was the floor show, i.e., woman dirty dancing and acting very naughty. During the cocktail hour Lori pointed out the babes we should keep an eye on because they were know to be the naughtiest. They did not disappoint anyone. There was one young woman in particular that started off dirty dancing with her boyfriend, but when he disappeared for a little while, she didn’t stop. She began dancing very naughty with about anyone that would dance with her. No strangers, but guys and gals she knew. Her boyfriend didn’t appreciate it very much, but when the evening ended it looked like he forgave her and they left holding hands. Here's some pictures of the party.



Lori and I exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve. She had to get home to celebrate Christmas Eve with her children. When we woke up, Lori made some coffee and we sat in bed opening our gifts to each other.

Lori gave me a lot of nice things. The best present was tickets for a taping of Rachael Ray’s television show in January. That’s the paper I’m holding. Lori also found a photograph of Rachael from her FHM magazine spread and framed it for me. You can see the other stuff she got me in the picture.


I didn’t get Lori that many gifts. She wanted a rocking chair we’d seen while we were shopping, so I got her that. She also asked for a valet remote car starter, which I got her, so she doesn’t have to go out to a freezing cold car in the winter or a hot car in the summer. I got her a necklace too. Oh yeah, and a couple of chap sticks.



Brian and I exchanged gifts Christmas morning like we always have done, tradition and all. I did get him a few things to open, but my main gift to him this year was clothes. I didn’t buy them, he will have to buy them himself. I’ll do what I’ve done before. I give him my American Express card and give him a limit on how much he can spend. Then off he goes and I wait for the call from American Express asking me if I know about all the charges on my card that day. I ask them how much it was and then tell them it’s okay. Brian got me some nice stuff. I got a jacket, a new butcher knife, a sharpener, toolbox, some tools and a cast iron skillet. I’ve wanted a cast iron skillet ever since I started cooking.

Later that day Brian left to spend the rest of the day with his girlfriend Cheryl and I went over to Lori’s place. Lori made a turkey dinner. After dinner I exchanged gifts with three her kids. I gave each of them the same thing, a bucket of microwave popcorn and a gift card for Blockbuster. Lori got the same thing for Brain. I even got Lori’s fourth child, her dog Milo, a couple of presents too, a Chihuahua calendar and a book about his breed. Sorry, I forgot to take pictures at Lori’s place.

Next weekend Lori and her kids are going up to her folks place in Rhode Island to celebrate the holiday with them and her brother’s family. Sunday, New years Eve, she is coming back home and we will celebrate New Years Eve her at my place. I’m going to try my hand at making a leg of lamb dinner and then we’ll have some snacks while we watch the ball drop on TV. I’ll tell you how that goes next week.

If I don’t “see” you before the New Years…….Happy New Year and do lots of very naughty things! I know we will. ;-)

Christmas Alphabet Song

Here's my take on The Christmas Alphabet Song with the help of the sexy Lynx elves. Hope you enjoy it.

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is for the Candy trimmed around the Christmas tree

















is for the Happiness with all the family



















is for the Reindeer prancing by the window pane






















is for the Icing on the cake as sweet as sugar cane












































is for the Stocking on the chimney wall




















is for the Toys beneath the tree so tall













is for the Mistletoe where every one is kissed








is for the Angels who make up the Christmas list






















is for old Santa who makes every kid his pet





















Be good and he'll bring you everything in your Christmas Alphabet

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Lori and I want to take this time to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Three Christmas Wishes '06 (HNT)

This weeks HNT isn't the normal HNT. Os asked that we pick three HNT/blogger participants and then tell the world what we'd get them for Christmas, if you had the means to do so. I had a tough time deciding who to give my three gifts too, but in the end, it really was a no brainer.


SIS B Sis B had a baby last month on the 16th. Her husband, Soldier Boy, is stationed in Korea, but came home on leave in time for their daughter’s birth. Not long after that, leave was over and he had to go back to Korea. I spend some time over seas in the army, so I know what it is like to be far away from the ones you love, but I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for Sis B, Soldier Boy and their little daughter Sprout.

My Christmas presents for them are a time machine and a ticket on the Star Trek transporter to bring him home ASAP.













MamaKBear and her husband have two teenaged girls and are in the process of adopting two little girls. Life has thrown them a curve so picking my Christmas presents for them was also a no brainer.

My Christmas presents for them is a big house with a big yard for the kids to play in. Of course the house has to have a bedroom and bathroom for each of them and a maid to keep the place sparkling clean.














Samantha Alice recently enlisted in the US Army. She’s home from basic training now but will be on her way back to continue her training and then assigned to who knows where. My Christmas present for Sam, is and invisible shield to protect her from harm so she returns safe and sound when her tour is over.

Who Let the Dogs Out?

HERE IT IS CHRISTMAS 2006, and we still don't know who is responsible for this nagging question. (noisy!)

Who let the dogs out?

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have tried and tried and tried to leave comments on the blogs that switched to the new Blogger Beta, but it just doesn't work. I have managed to sign in and leave a comment once in a while by using my G-mail info. BUT that's no fucking good because it shows my name as tony, not BTExpress and that name doesn't link back to my blog.

So, if you made the switch already, please know that I have visited your blog and probably tried unsuccessfully to comment.

Anyway, I hope y'all have as nice a weekend as I plan to have. Lori will be here shortly and then snuggling will begin soon after. Then it's off to J&R's Steak House for dinner and then back here to watch a horror movie, "Tourist Trap" and for more snuggling. Our record for snuggling is five times in 24 hours and this weekend we're going to try and break it. :-P

More Medical Chart Notes

This is my second post of medical chart notes. The first one can be found here.

16. The skin was moist and dry.

17. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

18. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.

20. Rectal examination revealed a normal-size thyroid.

21. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

26. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. ____, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

27. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

28. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night.

29. Patient was found in bed with her power mower.

Christmas Tree HNT

As per the instructions of Os, Mr. HNT himself, this week I'm supposed to show you a picture of me with my Christmas tree. Since I am a master procrastinator, I haven't taken it out of the box yet. Therefore, I'm doing the next best thing and showing you a picture of me and box with the tree still safely packed inside.

I even wore my shiny, silver Michael Jackson socks for this special occasion.

How Not To Repair A Leaky Shower Faucet

Note: Read part one of this saga here before reading this post.

1. Accurately measure from the wall to the center of the shower faucets.
*I got 14 inches (No, not there you horn dog!)
2. Check on the other side of that same wall to see if you can get to the desired location.
*I couldn’t because the desk was in the way. See yesterday’s post.
3. Make a path so you can get to the desired location.
*I hated this part, because it was too much like actual manual labor and I’m really pretty lazy.
4. Get out your trusty utility knife.



5. Start cutting out a section of the wall.



6. Using said utility knife, slice ones throat because this is difficult and one doesn’t feel like working so hard.



7. Decide that step 6 is a stupid idea, because you’d just have a bloody mess to clean up and get back to work.


8. Keep cutting.
*Nobody said this was going to be easy or go quickly.



9. Remove shirt because your now hot a sweaty and just keep cutting.



10. Don’t turn your back on a horn dog with the camera that likes your plumber’s crack.



11. Because she’ll take a lot of pictures of said plumber’s crack.



12. I hope your enjoying this.



13. I know Lori did, because she loves the way my ass looks.


14. SUCCESS!
*Don’t get too excited yet. What about the leak?



15. Now turn on the hot water.
16. Visually inspect plumbing to locate leak.



17. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN IT’S NOT LEAKING!
*Your right, I don’t see any water either.



19. How about down there?
*Nope, not there either.



20. Go back down stairs and see if any water is coming down from the ceiling in the basement.
*Nope, nothing.



21. HOLY CRAP, ALL THAT WORK FOR NOTHING!
*I SWEAR THERE WAS A REALLY BAD LEAK YESTERDAY. See yesterday’s post for the reason I went through all this.

22. No sense getting all worked up over this, just relax and be grateful you don’t have to work on the pipes and make a gin & tonic.
*Crap, out of lime juice!



24. Add lime juice to the shopping list.
23. Drink your gin & tonic then hang out and wait to see if it leaks again.
*Because you know someday it will.

Sorry I’m Late, ……..

…… but one tends to get lazy when one is retired and pretty much fuck off as much as one want. Hell, I even bought tons of extra underwear so I didn’t have to wash clothes that much. But since I'm even out of that, and all the bath towels are dirty, I guess I'd better do some laundry. What do you think?


Anyway, the weekend started early. Friday Lori took off at noon and we spent the rest of the day shopping. We stopped at Red Lobster about 1:30 for lunch and a Bahama Mama. Then on to the big mall to get a few things Lori knew she could get there. I bought a couple of things too. We found a fiber optics Christmas tree for my place at Walmarts. Last year I avoided all the holiday’s and didn’t even put up a tree, but not this year. Life goes on.

When we got home, I went into the large bathroom to take care of business and noticed water was trickling out of the wall under the facets by the tub. It wasn’t a bad leak, but any leak coming out of a wall is bad. I went down stairs to the basement to see if I could tell where the water was coming from. I had removed a part of the ceiling in the basement under the tub once before and never repaired it, so it was still open, which made things easier to inspect. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I noticed there was a small stream of water running across the floor. It hadn’t started to puddle yet, so I figured the leak must have just started. I looked around and saw water coming down through the opening in the ceiling.


I couldn’t tell exactly where the water was coming from, but the water was hot. I knew nobody was in the shower, so that meant either a pipe joint was leaking or a pipe had burst. I turned off the hot water supply valve on the water heater and in a couple of minutes the leak stopped. It was getting late and since the leak stopped, I decided to try and find out what the problem was the next day. That evening I made a plan of attack.

I used to work for a plumber and have repaired a few busted pipes as part of that job, so I was going to attempt the repair myself. The first thing I had to do was open the wall to see what was leaking. I wasn’t going to remove the tiles on the wall in the bathroom, so that meant I had to open the wall on the opposite side in the den. Simple enough to cut a hole in the wall, but getting to that wall was another story.

First I had to move the computer desk away from the wall. But to move the desk, I had to move a table. But to do all that, I had to clear them off. That was what was going to be the hard part. I had almost 30 years of memories and precious keepsakes mostly useless crap covering every conceivable surface in the den. The den and the basement were the places we accumulated all of the things we needed to save were to lazy to get rid of .

Barbara liked a tidy house was a “neat freak” and as you may have figured out by now, I’m not too concerned about such things a slob. Think of us being like the Odd Couple. Her being Felix Unger and me being Oscar Madison. To prevent arguing listening to her bitch and moan about the messes I made, we made an agreement. I could “decorate” the den anyway I wanted leave it a mess, as long as there was a path to walk through it to the kitchen and to get to the linen closet, AND I helped her keep the rest of the house neat and clean, I agreed.

Every Saturday I helped Barbara clean the house and I cleaned up after myself each night. Since I hated giving up most of my Saturdays cleaning the house, pretty soon we hired a cleaning lady. I still cleaned up after myself, and we she did light cleaning each day, but every two weeks the cleaning lady came and did all the big stuff.

I got work on the den Saturday and managed to fill three 48 gallon trash bags with memories and precious keepsakes mostly useless crap and managed to move the desk out of the way. I put the table in the basement along with A LOT more memories and precious keepsakes mostly useless crap. Now it was time to open the wall.

This story is long enough so I’m going to stop here and finish it in another post. Yea, I know the suspense of what is going to happen next is killing you, but I don't feel like typing anymore so your just going to have to wait.

MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Want to See a Real Hippie?

Yes, this is me. This photo was taken in 1974 in the living room of my house in Lake Ronkonkoma, New York.

I had great hair then, didn't I? I always got my hair cut by men until one day around this time, a woman cut my hair. She ranted and raved over my hair and couldn't seem to stop touching it. I loved the touching and compliments, who wouldn't? That made me feel attractive for the first time in my life. From then on, I always had women cut my hair unless there was no choice. The chicks just seemed to dig it.

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Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday Y'all.