American Idol Is On Tonight!

Tonight the show is from Birmingham Alabama. I checked out the American Idol web site and looked at some of the pictures of tonights competitors.

Maybe they will pick one of these guys...








Our her. :-P








Now the guy with the bird shit on his hat is a strong candidate, because I hear one of the judges (and I'm not telling you which one) is into poop.






Now the drum major is sure to get a lot of attention, so maybe they'll send him to Hollywood.








Oooooo, I think this pretty young lady with the nice cleavage just moved to the top of my list! I sure hope she and her boobs makes it to Hollywood!







Enjoy the show!

I Can't Help Falling in Love with You

Why did I post this? Read Lori's post to find out.

Want to Laugh?

Here's another joke I received in an email from my stepmother. This on really cracks me up!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Senior Citizens

At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish.

Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day.

The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure.

They were riding down the river when there was a fork in the river, and the gentleman asked the lady,

"Do you want to go up or down?"

All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat!

When they finished, the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.

They fished for a while and continued on down the river, when soon they came upon another fork in the river.

He again asked the lady, "Up or down?”

There she went again, stripped off her clothes, and made wild passionate love to him again.

This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing again the next day.

She said yes and there they were the next day, riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in river, and the elderly gentleman asked, "Up or down?”

The woman replied, "Down."

A little puzzled and disappointed, the gentleman guided the boat down the river when he came upon another fork in the river and he asked the lady, "Up or down?"

She replied, "Up."

This really confused the gentleman so he asked, "What's the deal? Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down you made mad passionate love to me. Now today, nothing!"

She replied, "Well, yesterday I wasn't wearing my hearing aid and I thought the choices were fuck or drown.

DEEP OBSERVATIONS ON LIFE

I like #1 the best. Which one is your favorite?

1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."--Author Unknown

2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children." --Author Unknown

3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."--Drew Carey

4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."--Jeff Foxworthy

5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."--Dave Barry

6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."--Bob Ettinger

7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'" --Paula Poundstone

8) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."--Conan O'Brien

9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner."--Lynda Montgomery

10) "I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" --Richard Jeni

11) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."--Johnny Carson

12) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."--Paul Rodriguez

13) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law."--Jerry Seinfeld

14) "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"--Warren Hutcherson

15) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same." --Oscar Wilde

16) "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself."--Mark Twain

17) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student At least they can find Afghanistan." --A. Whitney Brown

18) "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." --Billy Crystal

19) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'"--Dave Barry

20) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken--Unknown, presumed deceased

Lori Survived The Tests!

Lori breezed through the tests this morning and is taking a nap. I guess spending three hours last night and three hours this morning in the bathroom and the anesthesia they gave her this morning, plum tuckered her out. She said she'd tell you all about it when she gets a chance.

I can't wait for her butt to feel better. :-D

This is the Best HNT Ever!

So many hot, sexy babes lovely ladies have posted boobie pics this week, I lost count! And y'all know how much I like them boobies. Thank you girls and keep them coming.

Happy HNT to me you. :-D

I HATE CUTTING MY HAIR HNT

Growing up, we couldn't afford haircuts in a barber shop, so my mom always cut my hair. She cut it as short as the trimmers could cut it. It was a lot like my basic training haircuts.


Growing up, I remember wishing that someday I could grow my hair longer to cover those elephant sized ears.......

.......like I did in my hippie days of the 70's.


As much as I hate going to the barber, it looks like it's about time for my quarterly haircut. I see the ear hair needs some attention as well.

Looks like my nose hairs could use a trim too.


DAMN! I need a shave too!

Will this hair cutting never end?

Have I told you I hate cutting my hair?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy HNT Y'all!

Pop over to HNT Headquarters and say hi. Tell 'em BTExpress sent ya!

Jillie, I need your help.

How about stopping by Kohler headquarters and see if you can put a rush on the things I need for my bathroom? I'll be your best friend and I'll even give you a permanent pass to use the new shower whenever you want. :-D

Here's my dilemma. I keep having to change what I'm buying for the bathroom redesigns, because nobody has everything in stock and Kohler doesn't have them in stock either. Monday I spent 1 1/2 hours at Blackman Plumbing Supply with Kristin in sales, picking out all new stuff. Everything looked good and she verified that besides a few minor items she didn't have delivery times for and the shower door, everything else could be gotten in a few days. The shower door would take two months. The shower door won't hold me up, because I can use a tension rod and shower curtain until the door comes in.

I held up on placing the order and get Lori's and Brian's opinion on what I picked out. Good news, both Lori and Brian liked what I picked. Everything will be either white or polished chrome.

Want to see what I picked?

* Shower Door
* Lavatory Faucet
* Shower head
* Hand Shower
* Toilet
* Pedestal Sink
* Shower Controls
* Towel Bar
* Towel Ring
* Toilet Paper Holder

On my way back from my blood test yesterday, I stopped at Home Depot Expo and spoke to a salesman, Anthony. I found out there's no difference between in prices. It seems that everyone sales Kohler for 25% off list price around here. Anthony was big help and even pointed out a few things that I didn't think of, like a grab bar to hold on to or to use when getting up off the shower seat I'm having built. He said everything could be gotten in a week or two, except for the sink for my small bathroom, that is discontinued. Oh, well, I'll just have to find something else even if I have to change brands. I did have have some doubt about the delivery times so didn't place the order with Anthony. Besides, Blackman is local and that makes it easier to get addition supplies if I need them.

Today Kristin from Blackman called me and broke more bad news to me. The things I thought were minor turned out to not be so minor, like the shower head set up and hand shower and hose, and will take between 2 to 4 weeks to come in. That meant I either had to wait to start the project or pick something else.

What to do, what to do?

Fuck it! I'm waiting!

I really have my heart set on the new stuff and am tired of fucking around. That also will give me some time to find a new sink for the small bathroom and the vanity and mirror for the large bathroom.

The contractor called a little while ago. I had to tell him there were more delays, maybe up to a month. He sounded disappointed and told me to call him when I get everything.

I hope he's available when the stuff comes in. Keep your fingers crossed that he is.

My Life Since My Last Post

Friday:
1. The day was like every other day since I retired.
2. Lori arrived here at 5:15pm.
3. I cooked dinner. Shrimp w/ broccoli over thin spaghetti.

Saturday:
1. Lori and I looked at an apartment, but it wasn't acceptable.
Edit: "We" aren't looking for an apartment, Lori is. I'm just helping her. She wants to move from where she is now for various reasons and so do her three children. They still live with her.

2. Lori and I looked at more things for the bathroom. I just can't decide what I want.
3. Brian's car got a flat tire on his way home from work at about 9:00pm. He has lower rider tires with fancy smancy rims. He tried to change the tire, but special lug wrench for the theft deterrent lug nuts broke. Stuck 25 miles from home, he called me and I made arrangements for a tow truck to tow him home for the paultry sum of $125.
4. I cooked dinner. Sliced steak w/ gravy over rice, lime beans and salad.

Sunday:
1. Brian broke two of my socket wrenches trying to get the lug nut off, unsuccessfully I might add. I tried, but didn't have any luck either.
2. Lori and I looked at more things for the bathroom. We did find the tile and it's in stock! Sells for about $6.00 a square foot.
3. I looked for a tool to get the lug nut off the car without success.
4. Lori and I browsed the Kohler web site and picked out hot, modern stuff for the bathrooms.
5. I cooked dinner. Stuffed salmon, twice baked potato and salad.

Monday:
1. Brian went to the place that sold him the the theft deterrent lug nuts and they had the special socket for them.
2. Brian successfully removed the lug nut.
3. Brian decided to take the lower rider tires with fancy smancy rims off his car and put on the normal tires with the stock rims on the car that he kept in the basement. You see, the lower rider tires with fancy smancy rims suck in winter weather.
4. One tires was flat!
5. Brian took the flat tire to the tire shop and they found a hole and put a plug in it.
6. Brian Removed the lower rider tires with fancy smancy rims and replaced them with the normal tires and stock rims.
7. I left to meet with Kristen at the plumbing supply house and order the Kohler stuff for the bathrooms.
8. Kristen breaks the bad news to me that the shower door is a special order and will take two months to come in. Most of the rest of the stuff will take anywhere between four and six weeks to come in.
9. I browse the catalogs and pick out stuff that can be gotten in a few days.
10. I decided that the shower door is h and sexy and that I will wait the two months for it to come in.
11. I go to VA hospital for my six-month check up.
12. They renew my prescription and in form me that I need a blood test the requires me to fast. I need to come back tomorrow for the blood test. That sucks because the hospital is 40 minute from my house.
14. The doctor made arrangements for me to see a nutritionist. Seem he wants me to loose weight because I'm fat. (my words, not his)
15. I decide to go to the Home Depot Expo store tomorrow on my way back from the VA hospital and see what they have in stock for bathrooms.
16. Come to the conclusion that designing bathrooms is a pain in the ass, but it will be worth it when they are complete. The shower will hold three or more willing adults, which opens up new, uh.................. just use your imagination for the possibilities.

Our Trip to See the Rachael Ray Show

Yesterday, Thursday, was the big day Lori and I both had been waiting for. It was the day we were making the trip into New York City to see a taping of the Rachael Ray Show. The tickets for the show were a Christmas present to me from Lori. Lori knows I have a not so secret crush on Rachael Ray and knew I would like to go to the show and see her in person. The taping for the show we were going to see didn’t start until 3:30. We were told to be there no later than 2:30. Because that’s when the audience would start to be let in.

I decided we would take the train into the City and then take the subway to the studio. I’ve been into the City many times and found that this is really the best way in my opinion. The LIRR trains runs at least every half-hour throughout the day, so getting in and out of the City pretty much whenever you want is a snap. It doesn’t hurt that during the evening rush hour, the LIRR sells beverages on the platforms for you to take on the train and at $2.00 a beer and $5.00 a huge mixed drink it’s a good deal. Also the subway trains run every few minutes and getting around is fast and safe (regardless if what you’ve heard).

We got to the Sayville train station about 20 minute early so we sat in the shelter drinking coffee until the train arrived.











We took the 11:30 train out of Sayville and arrived at Penn Terminal before 1:00. The train ride was good. We ate a buttered roll and finished the coffee before we got to Babylon.










We switched trains at Babylon and took that one the rest of the way into the City.












After the mandatory pit stop was made, it was then on to the 1 train for the ride from 34th street to 42nd street in Time Square. That was one stop and a ride of just a couple of minutes.










Just a short walk over to the S train and one stop later we were in the infamous Grand Central Terminal.

Grand Central Terminal is everything and more than I’ve ever heard. Marble walls and floors, hell, the entire place looks like it was made of marble. Lori asked me to guess what this place cost, but I told her I had no idea.

FYI – I looked it up today, it originally cost $80 million and in today’s dollars, that would be over $2 billion. The place declined and over the years another $500 million here and there to bring it back to it’s original shape. Grand Central is a site to see and if you’re ever in New York City, you have to see the place.

This is the main concourse.













The ceiling was restored to it's original beauty. That was very impressive.












We took a walk downstairs to make another pit stop be we knew we would be staying in line for at least an hour before going in to the show. It wasn’t that easy finding our way around and took a few wrong turns before finding the bathrooms.

After that, we went back upstairs and wandered a bit before finding our way up to Lexington Avenue. Okay, now did we have to go left or right to 3rd street? Left we were told. Thanks, and now that we’re at 3rd street, which way to east 44th? Right this time. Good, there it is. We’re almost there.

Walking down 3rd street you could see the long line of people standing outside the studio audience entrance so we got on the end of the line. It was now about 1:25 so we figured we were there in plenty of time to get in. The weather wasn’t too bad yesterday, just about 40, so standing around for that hour waiting wasn’t too bad.













Across the street was a doggy gym with a limo outside. LMAO!











Right on time at 2:30, two young woman came out and started checking names off of the reservation list. Once in a while they picked groups of people out of the line and sent them right up to the front and sent them inside. We were told that these people were VIPs and probably knew someone at the show or had a few other connections. One of the women got to us and asked our name. Yep, your on the list, so she checked us off. Cool! We’re on the list!

The started sending in people to the studio and the line kept getting shorter and we got closer to the door. One of the women took a head count and spoke to a bunch of people at the end of the line. “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but there isn’t enough room in the studio to hold everyone. So from here back” she stuck her arm in front of someone a couple of groups behind us, “you won’t be able to see the show today.”

Man, the look of disappointment they had. They came all this way and even stood in the misty rain and now won’t get to see the show. I felt so badly for them. But not so bad as we were still in line and going to get in.

The woman continued, “But if you want to come back sometime before April, we will issue you VIP passes that will guarantee you entrance, without having to stand on line.”

So that’s why some people were sent right up front to go in, they had been denied entrance before and now were VIPs!

The woman finished the speech she must have said a numerous times before. “Here are the instructions for requesting the tickets by email. Again I’m sorry, but as we said in the paperwork you received, this is first come first served. Thank you for taking the time to come here today. We hope to see you again.”

The people took the paper from the woman and with heads bowed, walked off mumbling and grumbling about what could have been.

The line started moving faster now and we were nearing the door. When the woman walked over to near where we were standing and said “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but there isn’t enough room in the studio to hold everyone. So from here back” she stuck her arm in front ME, “you won’t be able to see the show today.”

HOLY CRAP! We didn’t get in either! We came all this way and even stood in the misty rain and now won’t get to see the show. I felt so badly for Lori and I. That when Lori spoke up, “I lost a days pay for this.” The man standing behind her frowned, shook his head and said “Me too.”

I took the paper from the woman and tucked it into my pocket. Lori said, “We’ll just have to come back in April when the weather is warmer.

As Lori and I walked away, I heard the woman tell the group in front of where we were standing, “I’m not sure if there is enough room for your group yet, so you still may not get in. They are taking a final count now.”

I smiled a little smile, because dammit! They didn’t obey the rules and were wearing jeans, and flashy colors! I was secretly hoping they didn’t get in either.

Lori and I decided just to go back to Grand Central Terminal and get something to eat before taking the train home. It was colder now and raining slightly. It wouldn’t be any fun walking around Time Square, which was what I wanted to do.

We found our way back to Grand Central and made a pit stop downstairs in the food concourse. We’d decided to find a bar that served food to drown our sorrows for not getting in to the show.

Lori saw a sign for TOO BOOTS Bar & Restaurant. Guess these are the boots.














The menu was small but the prices were excellent. I had a huge salad with tons of things in it, garlic knots and jambalaya for just $9.95! The waitress was very friendly and did a very good job.









After we finished eating, we sat for a while talking because there was no need to rush to get home. It was a lot earlier than we expected and there were plenty of trains.

Then we were off to find Penn Station and the LIRR. First a pit stop and then we wandered around looking for the downtown S train. Well, I wandered and Lori followed patiently. That found and one stop later we got off at Time Square and caught the 1 train to Penn Station.



We just missed the 4:40 train so waited the half-hour for the 5:20. I read the paper while Lori napped and 1½ hours later we were back in good old Sayville. The 1 mile drive home and all safe and sound in the warm cozy house.









But we were sad and disappointed that we didn't get to see Rachael Ray.

*************The End*************

Edit: I forgot to tell you something. When we were waiting on line, a couple of women came out after seeing the first taping. They were so excited and practically jumping up and down yelling. It seems that some company gave Rachael tickets for a cruise to give to EVERYONE in the audience! Can you fucking believe it!? Cruise tickets! What lucky stiffs! I sure hope we get something at least that good when we finally get to see her show. Hmmmmmmm......... what do I want tickets for? :-D Naw, Rachael would never agree to that............. or would she? :-D

Remodeling HNT

I decided to remodel my place. The first step was to replace the front door and all of the interior doors, that took three days. The next step will be to remodel the bathrooms. It's tough making all the decisions for things like choosing the fixtures for the bathroom and deciding on the style, colors or even just simple things like "Do I get a shower door in the bathroom or a shower curtain."

I was having a difficult time deciding between the shower door and the shower curtain, so Lori got in a shower at Lowes to help me decide. I think I've decided, but I 'm not sure.

It's between this.....................

Or this.............................

Which do you prefer?


Happy HNT Y'all!

American Idol 2007 - Part 1

Introduction: Before I get started, let it be known that I am a big fan of American Idol. I've watched practically every show from the beginning and each week I root for my favorites and against those I think suck. If that makes me a "whatever it you think it makes me", so be it. Just remember, I'm still the hot, sexy, sweet, lovable old horn dog guy you've all grown to lust after love or at least tolerate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I received an email inviting me to participate in American Idol Bloggers. I have no idea why, but I'm guessing that they did a blog search and saw that I made a post or two last season about the show. This is the short version of the email.

Our intent is to bring American Idol bloggers closer together, and make a positive contribution to the Internet community. We would greatly appreciate your support in this endeavor. Blah, blah, blah........ gag me with a spoon.

I figure WTF, I got nothing better to do SINCE I'M RETIRED and just hang around the house masturbating or doing nothing most days, so I'm going to check into just what it is they want from me and join the American Idol Blogger Team!

So without further ado, here is my first post about American Idol 2007.

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If the first show is any indication, this season is going to suck monkey balls. If you saw the first show I think you'd agree with me. The pace was sooooo sloooooooow sometimes, I actually got bored. They spent way too much time dwelling on some of the bad singers. WTF was that all about? I got the idea already! Just move on to some other crappy singer. Or hey, I know, how about showing a couple more of the few good singers that actually made it to Hollywood? I can't wait for tonight's show.

I saw Simon on Oprah today saying that Seattle had the worst singers they've ever heard. He said that the best tend to come from the Southern states. He also said that Taylor Hicks would have never been last years American Idol if he didn't have gray hair. That comment kind of pissed me off being that I'm old I have gray hair and all.

I may have snow on the roof, but have a fire burning you know where. If you don't believe me, just ask my girlfriend Lori and she'll vouch for that. :-D

PS
Tomorrow Lori and I are going into New York City to watch a taping of the Rachael Ray Show. We're taking a LIRR train into the City and then the subway to the studio. I'll be sure to tell you all about it. Now get ready for American Idol. Simon said the singers tonight sucked even more than the ones last night.

My Old Pals Linky & Dinky Come Through Again!

I just knew that the horn dogs that visit here, would never forgive me if I didn't pass along this tip from Linky & Dinky, photographs of the 50 best celebrity nip slips.

WARNING! PARTIALLY NAKED CELEBRITY BOOBS!

http://fadedyouth.blogspot.com

PS
Not that I'm complaining or anything, but haven't these people ever heard of double sided tape or bras?

Remodeling Update!

My weekend was a good one. Lori came over Friday evening and any weekend Lori comes here is a good one.

The contractors were here when she showed up. They were finishing up the last few things. They had trouble getting the front door dead bolt to lock and I thought they fixed it, but discovered later that they didn't. That's okay for now, because the other lock works. They'll fix it when they come to do over my bathrooms.

Did I mention that I'm going to remodel my bathrooms too?

Yep, I'm doing the entire place over. I've been in this house for almost 30 years and I've only done one major remodeling, the big bathroom and that was about 20+ years ago. Guess it's about time, huh?

The first thing I'm doing over is the large bathroom. The contractor had an idea for the full bath. He's from Czechoslovakia so thought a Roman style bathroom would look nice. I did too until Lori and my son vetoed that idea. Well, maybe I should say they both hated the idea and I decided not to go in that direction. Two against one and all that ya know.

My son wanted a blue bathroom and Lori thought a bathroom centered around a beach theme was more appropriate. I do live a few hundred feet from the water so that really did make a lot of sense to me.


That meant I needed to look for new bathroom fixtures and tile to match the beach theme.

Saturday morning, after Lori and were done snuggling and finished breakfast, we went to a home show. Just my luck, there was only one vendor showing bathrooms. He was very friendly and helpful even after I told him I had a vendor to do the work and was just looking for ideas. The show was small so we were in and out in about an hours.

It was still early so I decided to go to Lowes Home Center and see what they had as far as tiles and bathroom fixtures. They had a large selection of everything I need. I found what I was looking for, but the color choices in stock was limited.
After we left Lowes, we drove over to Home Depot. Their selection was lame to say the least so we drove over to a second Home Depot and didn't have any luck their either. I decided I'd get everything at Lowes, but wanted to see if the contractor could find the fixtures in the color I want.

I called the contractor when I got home, but a recording said his phone was not in service. WTF! I double checked the number, but still got the same message. DOUBLE WTF!! I got nervous when I heard that, but having faith in mankind like I do, I decided to wait and see if he called. Luckily he did. Whewwwww............. i told him what I found and where I found it. I also told him that the toilet from Kohler wasn't in stock and would have to be ordered. I told him we needed to hold off on the bathrooms until fixtures could be found. He said he'd try to find one Monday. He siunded disappointed that I was stalling him, but when I told him I wanted the small 1/2 bath remodeled too, that perked him up. Today is Tuesday and I still haven't heard from him. Guess he's having trouble finding the stuff.

Sunday morning Lori and I went to look at a couple of more apartments. No luck yet, but one has possibilities. I won't go into anymore details now that she has a blog of her own. You can read a little about the apartment hunting here if your interested.

Here's a few pictures of the things I'm leaning on buying.

Tile choices













48" Oak Mirror














48" Oak Vanity

The top is made out of a two-tone onyx.













Sink Faucet

Brushed finished with gold ends.







82 1/2" High Linen Cabinet

















Kohler One-Piece Toilet

This one is in white, but I want a sand color.
















I'll probably also install the toilet above in the 1/2 bath, but it will be in white. I've narrowed it down to two sinks for that bath. Which one of these two sinks do you like?

Since y'all liked yesterday's post, here's another one along those lines.

The Top Ten Things That Men Understand About Women

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.


On a side note, why do you gals make it so difficult for us men. Is it that you just like to?

Applied Mathematics

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but
married men are a lot more willing to die.

MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

COMPREHENSION
There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

I'm fixing up the place

The last few days a contractor has been over here starting my home remodeling. The first step in this project is replacing all 14 of the interior hollow core doors. Yes, 14 doors! They are also replacing the front door.

My house was built in 1953. In this area they used steel door frames on all of the interior doors. They cannot be removed without taking up the oak floors, so each door has to be custom cut to fit the frame.

Guess you know what that means? It means extra labor and in turn ………….MONEY!!!!!!!!

Oh well. I haven’t really spent any money on redecorating this place in the 30 years I’ve lived here, so I figure I ahead no matter what it costs, to a limit of course.

The men doing the work are eastern European. Two guys are originally from Czechoslovakia and the other guy is from Russia. One has been in this country 6 years and the other 7. I’ve never had work done by people from those countries before, but take my advice, if you ever need people to do work around the house, get people that are from the Slavic countries. I couldn’t be more pleased with their work.

The worst part is that the Russian guy does talk on the cell phone a lot, but he paints, as he talks, so no big deal at all. The Czechoslovakian guy does the cutting and fitting. Their lunch breaks take no time at all. They eat and immediately get back to work with no sitting around bull shitting.

The best part is that these guys are perfectionists! The guy paints a door and then comes back to touch it up if it isn’t just right.

Can you fucking believe it?

The other guy has set up the sawhorses and equipment in my driveway. That’s where he does the cutting and sawing so he doesn’t make my house dirty from the sawdust. It’s been in the 30’s here the last few days, but he says he’s not cold. He’s used to a lot colder where he’s from.

I hit the jackpot with these guys. Next is the bathroom.

Here are a few pictures.

These are the old doors I'm replacing. If you look at the door on the left you'll see why.












The new interior doors are are plastic or something. You can see what they look like very well, but I'll take some more pictures when this part of the remodeling is done so you can get a better look.






I'm replacing the front door because the steel door I replaced about 10 years ago is rusting out at the bottom. I've been told it's because i live so close to the water.















This is the new front door. This ones made out of fiberglass so rusting won't be an issue.

HNT Has Been Suspended This Week

One of our fellow bloggers was killed in an auto accident last Thursday, Jan. 4th. I will miss her.

Betchacantguesswho - 1982-2007

More information can be found on Os's blog and No One's blog.

Mr. Phelps................

"Your mission, if you choose to accept it......................"

Wait!

I forgot to ask!

Can you keep a secret?

You can?

Good.

I knew I could trust you.

My pals Linky & Dinky sent me a link to the best FREE movie site ever.

On this web site you are able to watch a lot and i do mean a lot, of old and new movies there.

Enjoy!

"This blog entry will self destruct in five seconds."

Robbery Update

(Read the last post if you don't about the robbery.)

After Brian got off of work Friday, he called me from the parking lot before he made the drive home. He wanted to know if a detective showed up (NO) and what I found out from the insurance companies (Nothing new to tell). He had made arrangements with his insurance company to get a rental car (Max of $30/day for 30 days) and to drop the car off at the body shop on Saturday.

We chatted some more and had a nice conversation. He'd had time to think about what had happened and took some of the blame himself. I pointed out to him that he had left the sunroof part way open so getting in the car was a snap. He humbly agreed that yes, he was partially to blame. I also reminded him that from now on, he should bring his portable stuff in the house at night. He left the CDs, DVDs, GPS & IPOD in the car. That if he had done that, they wouldn't have been stolen. He assured me he would do that from now on. I just took that one with a grain of salt. He's said that before, but only did it for a short time. Hopefully, this time he's learned his lesson.

I got my first estimate from an alarm company this morning. Sitting down? $3,500! Yep, $3,500! Then add that to the cost of the new alarm system for Brian's car, what ever that will be, and this was a very, very expensive robbery.

The claims adjuster for Brian's insurance company came by just now to drop of the repair estimate and to pick up the receipt for the "entertainment system" that was stolen. The total comes to about $2,200. Brian has a $500 deductible, so I'm going to have to come up with that when he picks up the car.

The grand total? I don't even what to think about it yet. I need Happy Hour to get here real fast so I can start drinking my gin & tonics. I stocked up with a lot of tonic, but forgot to buy more gin yesterday. Guess it will be whiskey, rum or vodka & tonic today. Or maybe brandy. I know! I'll just close mt eyes and reach in the liquor cabinet and see what I come out with. Might be interesting to see what I come out with. :-D

Bye, bye for now y'all.

PS
Jodes, I know that individual cops can only do so much and that the "system" dictates the effort put into a case. When Brian's first car was set on fire, I talked to my neighbor and explained nobody was doing anything. He used to be an assistant DA so he made a few calls and boy did I get action then. They still never solved the case, but at least they put in an effort. And every other time a car was broken into, or my houses were burglarized, a detective at least showed up. Hell, one time they even took prints. This time, other than the original patrolman that came, no one else has bothered to come over or call, to at least call to talk to us.

Now due to the lack of interest off the "system" over the years, I'm upgrading my home security system. Then the next time something like this happens, and we all know it will, at least there will be something to go on. In addition, if it's someone local, Brian or his friends will probably be able to recognize who did it. If they do, I pity the poor souls that fucked with us.

TODAY FUCKING SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last night my son Brian's car was broken into. He found it open when he went to leave for work at 7:30. They took the TV/RADIO/DVD player and the visors that had small LCD monitors in them. The worst part is that since they aren't original equipment, the insurance policy only covers up to $1,000. They cost about $2,000. I bought him that stuff for Christmas last year.

Wait, I gets worse!

Looks like the most I'll get from the car insurance company is $1,000 and they will pay to fix the car. Since the player was an after market unit, they only cover up to $1,000. I could have gotten a rider on the policy, but I didn't know about it.

Still gets worse!

This car insurance company doesn't cover anything left loose in the car. Not the IPOD, 180 DVDs & CDs, the cell phone, nothing. I called my homeowners insurance company and they will cover personal property left in the car only if the car is at home. It was in the driveway so it was covered.

Can it get any worse? YES!

I have a $1,000 deductible on my homeowners insurance. The IPOD was $250 and the GPS $276. The cell phone? Who knows what it costs but it no where near $500.

Even worse yet!

They won't cover the CDs or DVDs either. Seems that since there is a player in the car capable of playing them, then my homeowners insurance company says it’s the car insurance companies responsibility.

How much more expensive can this gets you ask? Read on and find out.

I'm also going to get a new security system for the house. The one I have is too old, so no alarm company will touch. That means I have to get it replaced. I’m also getting a video monitoring system installed to monitor the driveway and all around the house. I have no idea what that’s going to cost, but a digital record connected to motion sensors starts at $1,200. I need to do this for my sanity. It will be worth it and I should have done it years ago

Take it from me, the cops are useless for this kind of thing and just make a report and eat more donuts or whatever it is they do. How do I know? In all my years, I’ve had one home or another burglarized six times. My old place, five times. Once there were even blood and fingerprints galore. In the almost 30 years we’ve live in this home, Brian's cars have been broken into twice, mine once and his first car set on fire. Nothing was ever done and nobody was ever caught.

Now at least with a video surveillance system, it will give us a good look at the culprits and then maybe the cops could catch them. The patrolman who was here this morning said the detectives probably wouldn’t even bother to come here. So far, he’s right.

I'm not going to let Brian bare the brunt of the loss, so I will do the fatherly thing and replace most of the stuff myself. I am fucked big time and will be out so much money that I don't even want to think about it.

One last thing, I finally got caught up on the bills today and that set me back over $5,700. This has been one very, very expensive day! I need a drink! No, I need LOTS of drinks! Happy Hour has officially started and will not end for a long, long time!

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT #42!!!!!!!!!!!

Just wanted to let you guys know that Lori started her own blog. You know Lori, she's that hot, sexy babe that I'm in love with. She uses the handle of 'SIMPLY ME'. Her profile picture doesn't show up here when she comments, so I just wanted you to know who was leaving me the loving, and sometimes naughty, seductive comments when you saw that name.

HELP!!!!!!

For the life of me, I can't figure out why her picture doesn't show up, but I think it may have something to do with her having that new blogger and mine being the old blogger. If you have any suggestions on how to get her profile picture to show when she leaves comments, please let either of us know. If it works, I promise to be your best friend. :-D

If you get a chance, drop by her blog and say hi. I'm sure she'd like to hear from you.

New Years Eve Dinner HNT

I cooked a leg of lamb for the first time on New Years Eve. As usual, I did the cooking and Lori set the table and cleaned up afterwards. My son Brian was home and had a little too. It was unanimous; I did a good job.

The night before, I rubbed a mixture of herbs all over the lamb. I used parsley, rosemary, tyme, a little salt and lots of fresh ground pepper. I also cut slits in the roast and inserts pieces of garlic. Then I put the lamb in a Reynolds oven bag and let it marinate over night. The next evening just after Lori arrived, I took the leg of lamb out of the refrigerator so it be closer to room temperature when I put it in the oven.

Lori got to my place about 5:00pm on Sunday. I had a gin & tonic ready for her like I always do. Then we sat on the couch and talked for a bit. Then I brought out shrimp cocktail and we had another drink and chatted some more.

Then it was time to prepare dinner. I had almost everything out already, so this time I didn’t have to search around for things like I usually do. Whoops, I forgot the flour.


I needed to put a tablespoon of flour in the bottom of the oven bag for some reason unknown to me. Lori says it’s to help make gravy. I’ll take her word for it, because all the box of bags says was to put the flour in the bottom of the bag.

I opened the oven bag, put in a tablespoon of flour and then started cutting up the vegetables and added them to the bag too. I added a sweet potato, some baby Yukon gold potatoes, a bunch of baby portabella mushrooms, a cup of cut up frozen rutabagas (turnips), a few carrots, a half a dozen large shallots and some salt and pepper.


Check out my new chef’s knife. Brian gave it to me for Christmas. (Lori! Hurry up and take the picture! I can't hold in my stomach in for too long!)


Lori called this helping. I called it being naughty. ;-)


Here she goes again. I’m not sure what she was after here, because I didn’t have any money in my pocket.


LORI! Can't leave you in charge of the camera, can I? What ever. Here's the token ass shot Lori took.


Now back to the cooking.

When I had finished adding the vegetables, I closed up the oven bag and stuck the temperature probe in the meat. I love that thing. You stick the probe in the meat and then plug it into the kitchen timer. Set the temperature on the timer you want the meat to cook to and wait for it to beep. The meat will be done to exactly the right temperature.


Next I made the creamed onions. I used a jar of onions, some half & half, a little sherry, Parmesan cheese, a pinch of nutmeg (Rachael Ray says a pinch is an 1/8 of a tablespoon. BTW, did you know Lori got me tickets for the Rachael Ray TV show in a couple of weeks?), I also added a little dry mustard and some butter. Then I put it in a dish and sprinkled the top with paprika. I put that aside until the leg of lamb was done.


Lori cleaned up the kitchen and then we retired to the couch to watch TV snuggle and waited for dinner. The lamb took about an hour and fifteen minutes to cook.

Look at that, no pan to wash! Those oven bags are great! Check out the onions too. The cheese came to the top and made a nice crust. This is a great recipe and I highly recommend it. If you want these recipes, let me know.


Wait! I forgot. I dumped the bag into the pan so I could separate the juices from the meat and vegetables. I wanted to put the juices in a separate pot. (Lori, sorry you had to clean the pan babe.)

How's the leg of lamb look?


I cut the lamb off of the bone and added it to the vegetables. Man, I love the new knife. It’s so sharp and makes cutting so much easier and safer too. I never cut myself with a sharp knife, just dull ones. I have to fight a dull knife and that’s why I get cut.


Then we sat down to dinner by candlelight. Yes, you heard me right, candle light. Lori lit the candles that are always on my dining room table. We are a very romantic couple of horn dogs.


Now for all you horn dogs and in honor of Half-Nekkid Thursday, here’s the token man-boob shot.

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday Y'all!

If you want to see lots of boobs, follow the link on my side bar to Os’s blog. I promise you will not be disappointed.