Facebook

I am so confused about Facebook. I just don't get it.

I've been bitten by zombies, attacked b y who knows what, made a friend by lots of cool people and gotten bumper stickers, but when I checked my car, they weren't there.

I know how everyone feels at any given moment and who is or is not in a relationship.

Facebook also wants to know why I know everyone I know even if I've told them countless times before. Why is it any of their business anyway?

I keep getting presents and free drinks, but can never find them. Has someone taken them before I can find them?

And who are these slayers I keep hearing about?

Some of my friends are even selling themselves. Man, I wish a few of them would ask me to buy them first. I'm sure I could make them an attractive offer so they'd sell themselves to me.

People even want to know what my sex song is. Sex song? WTF is that? I've never sung a song while having sex in my life. Who does?

I have even been told I have an entourage, but there ain't no one at my door that I can see.

They even want me to buy imaginary gifts with real money. I'll buy imaginary gifts with imaginary money, but there is no way I pay real money for a picture of a gift.

I am just so confused about Facebook.